Afraid | Nikki Sixx

30.

Carly's POV

Being on tour with the boys is crazy, everyday is something new and everyday they're getting in trouble for something. We've been on tour for a little bit now, we've been to a few different states. Right now, I'm in the main area with Vince and Tommy, Nikki is taking a nap in his bunk and Mick is in the backroom, just messing around on the guitar.

"What's the next stop?" I asked Vince. He looked up from his book. "Baltimore, Maryland." He replied. "Oh my god, we're going to Maryland?" I asked, my heart beat picking up. "Uh, yeah. Why?" He asked. "Nikki!" I called and stood up from the couch. I walked over to his bunk and pulled the curtain to the side. He groaned. "Carlyyy, I was napping." He whined. "You didn't tell me we were going to Maryland! Specifically, Baltimore!" I exclaimed. He fully opened his eyes. "Oh, I forgot. Sorry," he chuckled. "I can see my Mom and sister!" I said. "You can meet them, too!" I said. Nikki's eyes went wide. "Meet your parents?" He asked. "Parent. Singular. Just my Mom." I said.

He rubbed his eyes. "I don't know, babe." He replied. "Oh, c'mon. It's important to me that my boyfriend meets my Mom." I replied. He sighed. "I don't really do the whole meeting the parents thing, Carly." He said. I frowned. "You have to be, it's important to me." I said, growing upset. "I really don't want to." He said. "But-" "I said, no." He said, sternly. "Why won't you even consider it?" I asked, crossing my arms. "I don't fucking want to, that's why." He said, raising his voice a little, I flinched and he drew the curtains, leaving me standing there by myself. I was taken aback at how cold Nikki was, he's never been that way towards me.

I slowly walked back to the main room and Tommy and Vince quickly looked away from me, they were obviously listening in. I felt tears brim my eyes and Mick walked into the room. "Hey," he greeted everyone. I walked over to the little fridge and grabbed a cup from the table and poured myself a cup of vodka, I'll just drink it straight up. I walked past Mick and into the backroom, quickly shutting the door behind me. I took a big gulp of the vodka and sat down on the couch. I felt tears rolling down my face. He's never raised his voice at me, he's never cursed at me.

I heard voices from outside the door. "Nikki, get up and go apologize." I heard Mick say. "Fuck off, I don't have any reason to apologize." I heard him say, bitterly. I shook my head and chugged more from the cup. I wiped the hot tears on my cheeks and drank more. I don't know why he had to be so mean to me.

I drank almost three cups of vodka and I was piss drunk, ever since I got introduced to drugs and alcohol, I really don't know when to stop when I start. I decided to just finish the cup I had off quickly and downed the rest. I stood up and quickly held onto the wall so I wouldn't fall over. I tried to walk over to the door and ended up losing my balance and falling onto the floor, with a big thud. I heard footsteps coming towards the door, it slowly opened up and it was Tommy. "Carls, what happened?" He asked, leaning down. "I wanted to go to bed, I fell over." My words heavily slurred. "You're really drunk, let me help." He said, taking my hand.

"I used to live in Baltimore, Maryland." I slurred. "That's cool, you gonna visit your folks?" He asked, I nodded. "I'm worried about seeing my Dad, I don't wanna run into him." My words were slow so I could speak clearly. "Why?" Tommy asked, confused. "He's going to beat the shit out of me for leaving him." I slurred, tears brimming my eyes. "My Dad drinks heavily, he gets violent when he drinks." I admitted, my words slurring incredibly. Tommy's eyes went wide. "He used to hit you?" He asked. I nodded. "He threatened to beat me for leaving him, I'm scared he'll find me." I said, tears rolling down my face. "I'm scared, Tommy." I cried more. Tommy lifted me up, sitting me up against the couch and he pulled me in for a hug.

"We won't let that happen, Carly." He said, quietly. "Does Nikki know this?" "No, he doesn't know anything about my past." I slurred, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. "He should know, Carls. He'd protect you from your Father, just like we will." He said. I leaned back and Tommy sat down next to me on the floor. "You know what's funny?" I asked, looking at Tommy. "What?" He asked. "I always said I'd never drink like my Father, but here I am. I've been drinking all the time, I'm going to be an alcoholic just like him." I slurred, laughing sadly. Tommy gave me a sad look. "That's not true." He said. I laid my head back on the couch and shut my eyes. "Here, let me help you lay on the couch." He said, he lifted me up bridal style and laid me on the couch. I shut my eyes again and soon felt sleep engulf me.

I woke up to my head pounding, I felt instantly sick. I sat up and quickly held my head. I looked around and saw Tommy on the other side of the couch. "Oh, good morning, sunshine." He laughed. "What happened?" I weakly asked. "You got reeeaaal drunk last night." Tommy said, I felt my face flush. "I'm sorry, I probably was a mess." I apologized, Tommy shook his head. "Nah, you were fine." He smiled. He got up and grabbed the medicine and water from the table and handed it to me. "Thank you." I said, smiling a little. I took the pills and drank some water.

"We should be in Baltimore soon." Tommy said. I smiled wide. I got up and walked out of the backroom to see Nikki, Vince, and Mick all in the main area. Nikki glanced up from his book, saw me, and went right back to his book. I slowly walked over to one of the windows and looked out. "You recognize anything?" Vince asked. I nodded, excitedly. "Yeah, I can't wait to see my Mom." I replied. "Well, you should get dressed, as soon as we get there, we're going to soundcheck." Vince said. "I think I'm just gonna skip out on that." I said, turning around, Nikki's head shot up. "Oh?" Mick questioned. "Yeah, I wanna see my Mom and sister. I wanna surprise them." I said. "Well, are you going to be back in time for the show?" Nikki finally said something to me. I ignored him and grabbed clothes from my suitcase and walked into the bathroom. "Hey, I was talking to you." Nikki called after me. I slammed the door shut and got dressed, I applied some light makeup and fixed my hair a bit.

I walked back out and put my clothes away. "Carly." Nikki said, getting up. "What?" I snapped. "What are you still throwing a fit about me not meeting your Mom?" He asked, bitterly. "No, I'm just remembering how much of a dick you were towards me last night and I can see it'a carrying on still." I replied. "I'm not being a dick, you were pushing me." He said, bitterness still in his voice. "Just leave me alone, you're not ruining this day for me." I said, pushing past him. I slipped my shoes on.

"We've arrived." The driver called. I got up and grabbed my cigarettes and walked out. I looked around at my surroundings. The boys followed behind me. "I'll be back before you all leave," I said, starting to walk off. "Where do you think you're going?!" Nikki yelled, trailing behind me. "I'm walking to see my Mom, what the hell does it look like I'm fucking doing!?" I yelled back. "You can't walk!" He exclaimed. "It's not that far, just leave. me. alone!" I yelled. I turned on my heel and walked away from him.

(a/n: thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed! please vote, it's greatly appreciated! feedback is always welcome! okay, bye👻)