Never Let Me Go (Derek Hale Fanfiction Book #3)

Chapter Thirty-Three: Smells Like Teen Spirit

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! 

           “You can’t be serious,” Stiles gaped in disbelief, struggling to keep pace with me as we made our way through the crowded hallway and out onto the field behind the school. I’d just told him and Scott about Derek giving up not only his Alpha status, but also his werewolfism completely, to save my life. It was a Friday afternoon, and Scott had then run off to handle some lacrosse team captain official business before the game that afternoon. With only the weekend left before we could finally see the twins and take them home, I had suggested to Derek that maybe spending some time out with friends could help us pass the time, and he’d agreed. It beat staying at home and avoiding each other all night, anyway.

“Would I really joke about something like this?”

“Yeah, but I mean...are you sure this wasn’t just some sexual fantasy thing about you and Derek-?”

“Oh my god, stop! Shut up!” I gasped, swatting Stiles on the arm as the object of our conversation came into view several yards away, standing by the bleachers. We had hardly talked since he’d told me he was a human now; Derek had made me promise not to tell any of the pack members, although I was sure they were bound to find out any day now. I just didn’t know what to say to him - Derek had been a werewolf all his life. And now he’s powerless...because of me.

“Come on, don’t pretend like it isn’t some secret dream of yours to have a normal, human relationship with your ex-Alpha-werewolf husband-”

         “Hey,” I cut Stiles off hastily as we reached Derek. He was dressed in his usual leather jacket and dark ensemble, contrasting greatly with the maroon jersey Stiles was wearing and the blue floral romper I had on. Now that the baby bump was gone, dressing like a normal almost-eighteen-year-old-girl was completely foreign to me. Lydia had forced me to order a bunch of new clothes online, as neither of us were too keen on going back to the mall any time soon. Still, I was trying to dress to cover up some of the baby weight I’d gained; I’d begun getting my body into shape with Brooke and Axel, but somehow the message hadn’t gotten to my cellulite and I still looked like a an older, redheaded Honey Boo Boo.

“Hey,” Derek said back, and the brief period of awkwardness that ensued was so painful that even Stiles didn’t dare to say anything snarky. Finally, the silence was broken by Coach Finstock’s whistle and shout for all the players to ‘bring it in’, and Stiles took off running like he’d never been more excited to sit on the bench in his life.

“Should we-” 

“Do you wanna go-” 

Derek and I spoke at the same time, and then both fell quiet when we realized what we’d done. 

“I was gonna-”

“Sorry, you go-”

My face grew hot as we both talked over each other, and then stopped abruptly. Again. I made sure to wait several seconds before opening my mouth cautiously, signalling to Derek that I was going to speak.

“How bout we-”

“This is really-” 

Idiot. 

           Eventually, we made our way up onto the bleachers, where Lydia, Kira, Usher, and Jagger were seated. Sliding into the row directly behind them, I immediately regretted it as I realized Derek and I would be stuck in awkward silence until the game ended. Shit. I’d been avoiding Derek all week out of guilt; there was nothing I could do or say that would ever make up for what he’d sacrificed for me. And I couldn’t be angry at him for doing it, because he’d saved my life. I felt unworthy of what he’d done, and the more I thought about it, the more unworthy I felt. Being an Alpha and building up a legendary pack had been his dream, and thanks to me, he could never achieve it. Derek had told me once, a long time ago, that even if a werewolf became human, there was no going back. You couldn’t be turned by the bite anymore. It was one of the reasons I’d been so relieved to become a human again - it meant that I would be human for the rest of my life.