Never Let Me Go (Derek Hale Fanfiction Book #3)

Chapter Fourteen: The Descent

                    When I woke up the next morning, for the first time in weeks, I was tangled up in Derek’s arms, his heat surrounding me like a cocoon of safety. I rolled over, wriggling my wrist out from underneath his heavy torso and laying my head back against his bicep, content to just lay there and enjoy our reunion for a little longer, the sun illuminating our bedroom. Unfortunately, my body had other ideas.

“Chris?” I heard Derek mumble from behind me as I shoved his arms off me, lurched out of bed, and dashed to the bathroom. My feet slipped and skidded in my urgency, and I fell over the sink just in time to vomit up a torrent of Dr. Pepper-tinged puke, chunks of the sandwich I’d had late last night with Derek spewing out. It took a few minutes for my fiancé to realize what was going on, and so by the time I was finished and wiping my mouth, Derek had just stumbled into the bathroom, shirtless and blinking.

“Are you okay, babe?” he yawned, taking my hand and planting a sloppy kiss somewhere near my forehead. I nodded dazedly, the roiling in my stomach giving way to a sharp cramp-like pain.

“Ah!” I grunted, hands flying to press down on my slightly-bloated stomach to suppress the pain. Derek was already headed back to bed, his eyelids drooping, but he turned to peer at me in mild confusion when I brushed by the bed, slid on my Uggs, and twisted my hair back into a messy bun.

                     “You coming?” he murmured sleepily, dropping down onto the duvet and yawning widely again. Snatching a sweatshirt off the chair by the TV, I slid it over my head and grabbed my phone from the bedside table, shaking my head.

“No, I’m not that tired. I think I’m just gonna go watch TV.”

“Okay.” Turning over and burrowing underneath my abandoned pillow, I smirked at Derek’s tired stupor and padded down the empty hallway.

                      Now that Isaac had moved out, it was just me and Derek, and the silence made me feel lonely sometimes. I missed Erica and Boyd with all my heart; and now, I had Cora and Monica to add to that list as well. I’d had plenty of time to process Erica and Boyd’s deaths, but it felt like I would forever hold the pain of their loss in me. Erica had been like a sister to me, and Boyd a protective (if slightly weird) older brother. They’d welcomed me into the pack, helped me when I’d had problems with Derek, and loved me despite the fact that I wasn’t like them. And Cora...well Cora had actually been my sister-in-law-to-be. It had been hard to trust her at first, after the fiasco with Cece, but I’d grown to love Cora just the same. I’d thought I’d have an entire lifetime to get to know her; I’d thought she’d be at our wedding. I’d thought she’d be the aunt to the child that I’m carrying. Cora had been ripped out of my life too soon, and without her, I didn’t quite know how to fill in the empty spaces.

                           But of all the people that I’d lost, the searing agony and unyielding guilt that I felt over Monica’s death was the hardest to bear. Monica had never been anything but a great friend to me; she’d made me feel welcome on the basketball team, she’d helped me out with Spanish, and she’d stood by me even when I’d brought her into my world. Derek had turned her because of me. She’d fought for me, she’d supported me, and she’d died because of me. Too many people have died because of me. The urge to go back in time and unfriend Monica when I’d had the chance struck me; if I’d just stopped being friends with her after the basketball season had ended...if I hadn’t grown closer with her, if I hadn’t given Derek the idea to turn my new friend...she would still be alive right now.

                               I didn’t want to cry. I’d done nothing but cry nonstop for the past few weeks, and I was sick of it. But as fresh, hot tears spilled down my cheeks, all of my resolve washed away. I’d forgiven Derek, but I hadn’t forgiven myself. My head dropped, and I ground the heels of my hands into my eye sockets in frustration as my shoulders began to shake with the pain of my guilt. Monica and Ethan are dead because of me. Two amazing, strong, decent people are dead because of me.