Alpha King's Mate

44. Reins

     Morning came all too soon.

     I pulled myself up from the soft, firm bed to an upright position. I grabbed the throw blanket that was sort of hanging from the end of the frame and quickly wrapped it around myself and I darted to the bathroom.

The cool tiles soothed my hot feet. In fact, my entire body was hot; it felt like I was burning up. My hair was greasy from sweat and strain, but that was the last thing I could think about.

As soon as the door shut behind me I traded the throw blanket for my baby blue bathrobe and sat on the floor.

What had I done?

It was a mistake, it had to be. I was vulnerable and not in the right mindset to have sex with him. Yet, I kind of asked him to do it, despite him agreeing that I was not in the right mindset. I couldn't place the blame on him. It was my fault. I mean, it wasn't bad, and I did need it in the moment, but now as a sober-minded individual I realize that I probably should not have done it.

     He was not forgiven, but there were more important things on my mind than hating him. Today would be hard, and I would need someone to hold me up. Today we would bury my father.

     I opened the frosted glass door to the shower and turned the knob, making it as hot as possible. My feet slipped in as my robe fell to the floor.

     I'm not sure how long I was in the shower, but the confines of it were filled with thick steam by the time when Zac knocked on the door. I hadn't washed my hair yet, nor had I done any sort of cleansing, but I felt obligated to turn the water off.

     "Liv," he called gently. "Are you okay?"

     I paused a moment. "Fine."

     We both stayed silent from then on, I dried myself off and grabbed my robe from the floor. Holding the soft, warm towel to my body, I sat on the edge of the large bath tub. Several deep breaths flowed through my chest and I closed my eyes.

     My dad died yesterday, and today we have to bury him. He was shot, somebody killed him.

     Things were moving slower than usual today. It was like the universe had to physically embody the pressure of the situation on everything around me. My mind was two steps behind my body, my heart was disappointed, I felt like I had to work twice as hard to function. Yet, the world still spun.

     "Liv, Tilly's here," Zach called through the door.

     I nodded, before I remembered he couldn't see me. "Yeah, okay."

     "Are you going to come out?"

     I blinked and stood once again. "Give me a sec."

     "I'll have her brought to the Stasia Lounge," he explained with slight hesitation. I stared at the white-painted wood as he spoke. "I'll see you later, alright?"

     "Yup," I sighed and went to the sink to splash some cold water on my face. Perhaps it would wake me a bit.

***

     "Thank you," I said to the footmen as they opened the double doors for me and I stepped through.

Tilly stood from her place on the nearest sofa and bowed her head. "My Queen."

I raised an eyebrow. "Tilly, what are you doing?"

"I brought you a dress for the funeral," she said, avoiding eye contact and gesturing to a garment bag laid on the table.