Alpha King's Mate

42. More to Lose

     We ate, once again in silence.

     I was trying my hardest to keep my thoughts and my words to myself, but it was proving to be a difficult task. Eventually the only noise was emitting from the clattering of silverware on fine china.

I didn't want to talk or fight anymore. My heart and my head were completely exhausted of it all. Which is why, when he spoke, I didn't hear a word he said.

"Are you even listening to me?" He scoffed.

"No, no I'm not," I stated and laid down my cutlery in a cross shape.

"Then why did you agree to eat dinner with me? Seriously what is the point?"

I stared at him, amused. "The point is that you put me in a box. You cornered me with my parents there, and I was forced to say yes to this stupid dinner."

"That was the only way," he began.

I shrugged and slouched back in my chair. "The only way to what? Because you yourself just admitted this is going nowhere."

Suddenly, his glass collided with the wall causing me to jump in surprise. "Why don't you just leave then?"

I stared at him in shock, my eyes wide, my mind crowded. "What the hell?"

"I'm serious, why don't you just leave me? You can go back to your pack and you can bring your parents and everything. Take it all for fucks sake!"

He stood up and took a step back, running his hands through his hair.

"Are you on drugs?" I shouted, my heart pounding. I wasn't exactly sure if it was residual anger or newfound adrenaline pulsating through me but that would have to be a thought for later.

"Is that what it would take for you to forgive me? Because, believe me Liv, I would drink poison if that is what it took."

"Zac..."

"Fine, then go. If you are never going to forgive me, if you are never going to give me the chance to make up for this, leave."

Quiet fell upon us.

Part of me was thinking of the noise. I didn't want the servants to hear us bickering. I wasn't sure if the walls were thick enough, or the windows covered. Was there someone listening with their ear against the door, or my shooter coming back to fire the fatal blow. I was embarrassed and afraid and sad.

Another part of me was weighing options. I loved him, yet he hurt me more than anyone else ever has. Maybe that was my messed up, sheltered yet exposed childhood talking. Or maybe it was a sign, that the saying 'once a cheater, always a cheater' had merit. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I should have set strict boundaries and warned him about the consequences. My inner feminist wanted to slap me at the thought. I couldn't help it. A thousand things were flashing through my head at the same time.

"Well?" He pipes up, bringing me out of the pit of unanswered questions.

My mouth hangs open as I decide what I say next. I stand up and walk around my chair to lean on it for support as I think. "You-"