Alpha King's Mate

39. Frigid

"Your Highness?" Anne said, stepping toward me. I looked up, noticing all eves on me in the now quiet ballroom, their gazes burning my skin. "Are you alright?"

     I blinked and clenched my fist tight, thinking that if I hated it enough, my anxiety might just fade into nonexistence.

     "Liv?"

     I looked to my left and saw him. His eyes lied, pretending to worry, to care about what I just heard. Instantly, I felt disconnected from him. I suppose I subconsciously blocked him from my thoughts, walls were already forming, the feeling was familiar.

     Thoughts of my childhood came back to me. Flashes of my parents, my mother on the bathroom floor, blood, my sister, the graves, and me sitting by myself in my bedroom every weekend, alone.

     "Yes." I said and cleared my throat. "My hand must have slipped."

     I gave a small smile to the guests and was handed another glass. Servants scrambled to clean the spill and the pieces of broken glass beneath my feet. I watched them all for a few seconds, keeping my hands in my lap. They all slowly diverted their attention from me back to the music and the decorations and all of the beautiful things in this beautiful place.

     "Liv."

     "Excuse me." I breathed and immediately rushed away, leaving him behind me. There was a crunch of tiny pieces of broken glass still beneath my feet and then a sweeping noise as my gown brushed over the floor.

     I felt nauseous, seasick. This entire situation hit me like an earthquake, and the tsunami was barreling toward me. I didn't have any escape, just my thoughts, which weren't at all buoyant.

I didn't know what to think. Perhaps it was easier not to think. I tried to stick to the facts. I knew I was upset, I knew I didn't want anyone to see me cry. So I had to get back to my bedroom.

I kept waving, smiling and nodding to my distinguished constituents and fellow officials, but inside I was screaming.

     Out of the ballroom I made it to the hallway but still was faced with numerous people and greetings.

     "Are you alright, Your Majesty?" Another woman asked me, her slightly greyed eyebrows furrowed together.

     I gave off a quick laugh, desperate to escape the once happy space. "Yes, thank you, I seemed to have spilled Champagne on my dress. I'm just going to freshen up."

     Finally I made it upstairs, where no more guests could pounce. Tears flooded my eyes, I couldn't let the guards see me like this. I retreated into the first lounge I passed, needing a refuge.

     I wiped some tears as I entered and looked up, only to find Tilly.

     However, she was not here for me.

     She opened her eyes and saw me, quickly pushing an unfamiliar girl away from her and wiping her lips. My eyes scattered between the two girls, the stranger just gave me an amazed and mortified look.

     She laughed awkwardly. "Um, this isn't how I wanted you to find out."

     I just stared at her in disbelief, tears streaming down my face.