Always You

(11) Smile On My Face

I had called my sister and she confirmed. Vivaan did meet her last year but funny it is, how all this helped came my way from him just when he found out that I was getting divorced.

Same was the case with Raven last time.

Why do they think that just because you're in a bad place with someone else it suddenly means you're available? If it was this easy for me to forget Aman and go for someone else, I wouldn't be unhappy right now.

And just because we had a few bad weeks it doesn't mean I suddenly don't love him anymore. Should I hang a board around on my neck saying "not available"?

Aman may not love me the way I love him but my heart was loyal to him when we were getting divorced and it will be loyal to him even if I end going away for a year. I was hurt by him because we had some problems last year badly and I wanted to leave because I saw no other way but it wasn't because I didn't love him. Both Raven and Vivaan were mad to think they had a chance.

Last year, I missed everything. I missed talking to him, I missed laughing with him, I missed touching him and I just missed his presence all together. But I had made up a strong belief that he had started taking me for granted and had no importance for me.

Once I started feeling this way, I surpressed all my feelings and separation became inevitable.

And right now, it's just a normal husband-wife trouble. We will sort it out and we will figure some way out about how to make things work.

So I composed an email to Vivaan and asked him to kindly withdraw his offer and tell his friends over at Prada to find someone else. I could not accept a job that I did not get on my own but because of someone else. Especially an ex boyfriend.

Here is the deal. Treat her well when you had her, try and make things work if things are difficult. Do not come back in her life several years later and make a dumb grand entry.

For me, whoever is gone is always gone. I take a lot of time in kicking people out of my life and when I do, it really is over for me.

So if Vivaan has any other intentions besides this then he is only going to be sorry.

It was late at night around two a.m and I just wanted to hear Aman's voice. His assistant did tell me that he has been working late, lately so I took my chances and gave him a call.

At the fourth ring, he picked up.

"Mira?" Aman's voice was heavenly. "You're awake?"

"I was just thinking about old times, the time I asked you for a divorce and how sorry I feel that I took such a big step" I said.

"I am glad that I have you now and you're not going anywhere," he said sighing. "We will discuss about Prada later."

I didn't want to let Aman know just yet about how I got the job. I didn't want to upset him.

"Did you ever think that I did that because I loved someone else?"

He didn't answer for a few seconds. "Maybe. A part of me wanted to blame someone else. But I guess I always knew you love me."

"It just happened I guess because I ended up having a huge belief that you don't care about me. That you don't love me and took me for granted. I would never give up on you Aman but I had such strong feelings about it."

"And what about now?"

"Now I just can't wait for you to get home so that I could cuddle with you on the bed and sleep in your arms."

"I miss you, sweetheart."

"I miss you too," I replied. Everything seemed fine and I knew I would sleep with a smile on my face tonight, completely stress free.

**

Morning arrived and I felt refreshed. Since the baby was here with mom, so I stayed over at my mom's place. Amyra did wake up around six a.m. but after that she slept soundly and I ended up having a good rest. Amyra wasn't a troublesome baby like some can be. She slept through most of the night which was great for both me and Aman.

I don't know why but I felt so sleepy. I wanted to sleep some more but I had to get to work. I checked my phone to find an SMS from Aman.

Good morning baby :) give a kiss to Amyra from me - Aman

Poor Aman. I can't believe he was trapped in a court case. I missed him a lot and he probably was dying to see Amyra. We did facetime a few times but of course nothing is as good as physical presence.

It was the next SMS that put me off.

I got your email. I do not accept what you have to say. Talk more later.

Of course this was from Vivaan. Who else could it be ?

I hurriedly texted.

I won't come to work if you talk about this. However kind it was, I can't accept a job that you got for me. What are you thinking? That I would suddenly be in love with you just because you made one of my dreams come true?

What are you talking about?

Uh-oh. I ended up texting Aman.

Who was this for? Who got you a job?

Mira?

He was calling now. I had no idea what to say. If I told him about Vivaan, it would complicate things so much because they are working together.

In fact this text shouldn't have been for Vivaan either. It's not like he said anything about feelings. All he did was express that he wanted to help me.

Only because he found out I got divorced though. Which I didn't but he didn't know that.

What was I supposed to do now?