Always You

(2)Nobody

I can't remember to forget you 

I keep forgetting I should let you go 

But when you look at me, the only memory is 

us kissing in the moonlight

Many of us have played the field. By playing the field, I mean, before reaching the ripe age of thirty mostly all of us have dated several or at least two-three people by now. But as time goes by, new memories are formed and old ones are forgotten. 

You don't really remember those exes that you couldn't work things out with because they constantly annoyed you with things they said or did. Those you just remember as the annoying ones. You do have a chance of still holding the torch for someone you couldn't work things out with because of either a misunderstanding or because of life.

These two were the cases when it came to Mira.

Mira Dey. That was her surname before getting married although I heard that she got divorced so maybe she is going by her maiden name again. 

In the five years that I had known her, I always looked forward to talking to her. Just talking to her was enough and nothing else was needed. We used to fight a lot. Almost everyday but those used to dissolved on their own. She was a moody little kid, if I made her mad, I knew how to make her smile. 

"Look, I know I am not your girlfriend but you have no right to make me feel jealous!" she chirped one day all of a sudden. I was walking her back from her tuition class. "In fact, I would prefer some distance right now.  So can you please go? Aren't you in like college or something? Shouldn't you be busy?" 

She was just fifteen and too young for me. It never felt ethically or morally right to date her. I was nineteen years old and in my second year already. So even though I had known her for like two years, I never made a move. 

If, flirting now or then doesn't count. 

"Make you jealous?" I asked confused. I did have many girl friends who lasted only a week but currently I didn't have any. Also, I could believe that she just admitted that she got jealous. I didn't know that she had feelings too. 

"Yeah, yeah! I was just stalking your facebook wall and you were flirting with a girl called Kashish!" she said while looking down upon the pavement. "I didn't like it. I mean, I used to think that I am the only one you flirt with!" 

"Mira.." I tried to intervene but she kept talking. 

"I don't want to make you scared or something. I know you don't have the same feelings but then you should stop flirting with me because I don't like it. I get hopeful, you know?" 

"Mira, listen..." 

"So, it is best that you leave right now. I need my space!" 

"Mira, Kashish is a guy!" I finally managed to say. 

"What?" she asked confused. "You said, I love you to a guy?" 

"Yeah," I said feeling embarrassed. "He is my best friend. I was mocking him actually. He proposed to his long time crush in college today.  I was just repeating the lines he said. You should see his display picture. Kashish is very much a guy."

"Oh," she said and blushed a little. She didn't add anything else. 

"So, jealous huh?" I asked, smiling widely. 

"Forget that I said anything!"  she said and almost ran but I held her hand and pulled her towards me gently. 

"If you ask me for space, I will miss you. So, sorry but I can't," I said. 

She started blushing and we continued towards her house. I mostly walked her till the gate. 

Although it is safe to say that a week after this we began dating. 

It went on for a good two years before I broke her heart. 

She was the first girl I had been with for such a long time. Even after her, I have been with countless girls but not as long as her.

It isn't like I am pining after her but I find myself wondering every now and then that what would have happened if I hadn't left.  

But still, I was managing just fine in my life until I ran into her sister last year. I was in Peru on an  assignment and she was holidaying with her friends. She has a younger sister who even back then knew about us.  At first, Manvi, tried to ignore me. I knew she had recognized me. I made some small talk to her just trying to figure out what Mira was up to. 

"So, can I have a number or something? Or maybe you can mine and ask her to contact me if she wants," I said to her. 

She looked hesitant and then finally replied, "look she is going through a hard time. She got divorced a few weeks ago and the last thing she needs is the guy who broke her heart to be back in her life and complicate things more."

Anyway, I got the message and decided to let Mira be. 

But I couldn't get this thought away from my mind. I'm not looking to date her but now that she is single and there won't be a jealous husband stopping her from talking to her ex, what's the harm in being friends? 

I highly doubt that she would want to be friends but at least one obstacle was down. 

So, when I got an assignment and had to travel to Delhi, I couldn't have been more excited. Being a travel show host has its own perks. I wonder if Mira has ever watched my show on TLC. 

Although we are based in New York but my current assignment is none other than my own country.  We are having a Delhi based travel agency help us out in booking and planning all our trips so I will be in Delhi for at least four months. 

More than enough for me to track down Mira. 

"Sir," my assistant Caira said. "Mr. Dass is here." 

**