Atlas (A Selection/Hat Films Fanfiction)

~ Fifteen ~

Exactly one month has passed since we arrived at the castle, but I had decided to hide out in my room during the small women's room event to celebrate. I had actually been hiding in my room for three days straight, too scared to face any of the princes after the french royals' party. I thought isolating myself from everyone except the occasional maid would allow me plenty of time to clear my mind and get my thoughts straight, but my mind only seemed to race and spin more with the oppressive quiet. 

I scanned the letter that Ari wrote me again, looking for any hints or clues about Sjin. There was a mention that they both missed and loved me, but I knew those words could just be empty platitudes because someone was definitely reading my mail. I warned Ari before I left not to put anything to sensitive in the letters, but I secretly wished he was speaking in code through them. 

I knew I needed to leave soon, to return to my brother and Sjin and start a new, simple life together. I tried to console myself by saying that Sjin had loved me when I had nothing to give, but it wasn't all that convincing. I tried to strip away the titles, fancy clothes, and royal politics from the princes and I, but I just couldn't picture what they would have done if we had met in the streets. Would Ross still want a classic romance with all the thrills of first kisses and shared secrets if we were both starving in the streets?

I got drunk - really, really drunk. Technically my maids had to do whatever I commanded them to, but it didn't stop them from heavily protesting before smuggling me bottles of wine and champagne from the kitchen late at night. In the safety of my bedroom, I imagined that my subconscious would decided for me what I wanted to do and I even set out a notebook and pen for me to write my decisions on. In the end, all I wrote down was that I wished Ari was here with me and ended up crying and hugging to toilet for a few hours. 

After quite a lot of arguing with my maids, I ended up wandering the halls in my pajamas trying to find the library. I thought I was feeling more sober after throwing up, but the dark halls disoriented me, and any landmarks that would help me get my bearings seemed to all swim together in my head until I was utterly lost. 

I wasn't too worried, knowing I could ask a guard or servant to escort me back to my room when I needed to. Eventually I stopped trying to figure out where I was and let the numbing alcohol guide my steps down stairwells and around corners, ending up in a very remote part of the castle. The doors were starting to get closer together and I caught a few glimpses of open rooms as a couple servers moved in and out of them even at these late hours. They were tiny; my bedroom closet was bigger than two of them combined, and they had two beds bunked to suggest more than one person lived in them. 

I felt very uncomfortable all of the sudden, and I was getting odd looks from a couple maids who knew I wasn't supposed to be down there. I sped up a little, keeping my head down until I rounded a corner and realized I had met a dead end corridor.

I felt bile rise up in the back of my throat at the unexpected sight that greeted me. Albany had her back to me on the bench she was sitting on, and though she was far away I could see the zipper had been pulled down the back of her dress and the top half was pooling around her waist with the rest of her skirts. 

She was leaning forward, her face buried in the neck of Prince Alexandre as she nibbled on the skin there. The prince, with what little shred of dignity he had left, looked at least a little uncomfortable as she was undoing the buttons of his shirt with her hands, his back pressed against the wall and his hands falling uselessly in his lap. I would have laughed at how terribly he was playing the part if my blood wasn't boiling at this point. 

I didn't mean to stare, but I was so shocked that I had found these two, of all the people in the castle, on my drunken walk that I didn't realize I was standing still at the end of the hallway until Prince Alexandre opened his eyes and looked directly at me. His expression went from mildly uncomfortable to horrified shock when he realized who I was, and then a mixture of grief, anger, and embarrassment flashed in his eyes before I remembered where I was and took off running.