Telling Other Secrets

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Sarah Beth~

I watched out the window as Ashley drove towards the Catherdrial. We passed buildings and all kinds of other things, all completly ordenary and Muggley: something I had become accostumed too over the past year or so. I looked over at Ashley, who was concentrated on the road and didn't notice. I bit my lip and looked out the window.

I had to tell him eventually, and with the wedding being tommorrow, I probably needed to tell him today. Even more so, probably before the rehursal. Which, meant I needed to tell him before we got out of this car. I had kept the fac tthat I was a Witch from him, and he was okay with that when he found out, but this was different. This could drastically change our futures, depending on the outcome.

I looked back over at him, taking a deep breath. I had to tell him. I mean, there was a chance it would fall through anyway, and we wouldn't have to worry about it.

"Hey, Ash..." I trailed off. He looked over at me.

"Hey, are you feeling okay? Do I need to pull over?" He asked.

"No, it's nothing like that." I sometimes got carsick, nd he would have to stop. Even so, this nervousness was almost doing the same as carsickness. I reached over and turned the air conditioner up. The cold air blew straight into my face, making my hair flow back a bit.

"Oh, okay. What is it?"

"I..." I stopped, trying to think of a way to word it. "Remember what I told you about the school I went to?"

"Yeah, a little. Hogwarts, right?"

"Yes. Well... My old Choral Director wrote me saying that the Muggles Studdies teacher recently retired, and I, well..." I swollowed. "I applied for the job."

"You what?!" He brought the vehicle to a half. A horn honked behind us, but we ignored it.

"I applied for the job. But listen, Ashley, I might not even get it so we don't have to worry about it. But the students really need a professor what knows what they're talking about, it's really, really important, and-"

"I'm not mad, love." He chuckled a bit, starting to drive forward again. "I'm just surprised. I wish you would have told me before applying though."

"I really wanted to tell you, Ash. I was just affraid that you would be upset and-"

"Why would I be upet?"

"Well, because I would have to stay there during the year."

"What?" He stopped the car again. This time the driver behind us honked, as well as loudly cursing at us and giving us the finger.

"I'm sorry!" I appologized again. He continued forward.

"No, no. It's fine. I'm just trying to process all of this. So, we are getting married tommorrow, and you applied for a job that will keep you away from me all year?"

"No. I would get to come home during Christmas Holiday, and Spring Holiday. Plus Summer Holiday." I pointed out. He shook his head.

"But that's still a lot of time, Sarah Beth."

"I'm sorry, Ashley, but it just seemed like the right idea at the time. It woud help the students because they need a good professor who knows what their talking about. My professor was very good, but she got a lot of things wrong. I've been here: I know what is right and what is wrong. And even if I'm unsure about something, I could ask you."

"Well, I suppose..."

"And...if I get a job in the Wizarding World, maybe the Ministry would finally leave us alone."

"But they canceled our case. We don't have to worry about it any more, do we? And they said they were going to leave us alone a long time ago. I went with you."

"I know, but they're still harassing my friends. Remember when Elle threw the coffee on Mr. Dinkleberry? They have her on Muggle Cruelty charges. She didn't even go to trail after the War, Ash. She can't handle that. This has her a nervous wreck. Draco said she wasn't coming to the rehursal today because her nerves are making her sick. He said she's trown-up four times today because she thinks she's going to Azkaban. Now is it fair that the Ministry is doing this to her just to get to me?"

"No, it's not. But if you get the job it's going to effect more than just us."

"I know. I just said that I would be helping Elle and-"

"Not just that. We just got the Brew going. With you leaving, it'll just be me. And if I go with you-"

"Wait, who said you were coming with me?" I stopped and looked at him. He stopped the car and looked back, right in the middle of traffic.

"Do you not want me to come with you?" He asked, looking a bit hurt.

"That' s not what I ment, Ashley. I was just saying that-"

"You don't want me to go with you?"

"Ashley, we are stopped in the middle of traffic on the way to our Wedding Rehusal. Can you atleast drive?" I asked as a few more honks sounded behind us. He shook his head and put his foot back down on the gas pedal.

"I'm sorry. But-"

"You know that's not what I meant. It's not that I wouldn't want you there. It's that I'm not sure how other students would take having a Muggle there at Hogwarts. I mean, the War took care a lot of prejudices, but I'm sure there are some people who wouldn't approve. It's silly, but there is always people like that." We fell into a silence, and I looked down into my lap.

This was not how I wanted him to find out, and this is not how I wanted him to react. I guess I should have told him three months ago when I applied for the job, instead of putting it off until the day before the wedding. Why would he want to marry a liar? I wouldn't blame him if he turned the car around and called everyone to tell them the wedding was off.

"I'm so sorry, Ash. I really wanted to tell you." I finally said when I couldn't stand the silence any longer. "And I should have. I was just affraid of how you would take it, and if I don't get the job we are worrying for nothing."

"It's not that you applied for a job there, it's that you didn't tell me until now." He sounded a bit hurt. I wanted to cry, but knew I had to hold it in. 

"I know. I'm so, so, so sorry. I'm not even sure why I applied. I just saw that there was going to be an opening, and I thought I could help people and my friends and get the Ministry off my back, and applied on a whim. If you want I can write them when we get home and tell them to scrap my application." I frantically offered. His face softened. 

"No, you... You don't have to do that. I think you'll be a great teacher."

"I might not even get it, Ash." I reminded. He shook his head.

"If the Ministry wants you back there so badly, they'll make sure that you're put there. And you actually live with a Muggle. How can they get someone with better experience?"

"But I don't want to leave you, and I don't want to make you leave here and-" 

"Shh." Ashley took a hand off the wheel and took my own. I looked over at him. "Lets just not worry about it right now, okay? We can talk about it when we get home. Right now lets concentrate on the wedding. We're almost to the Cathedral. Wait until you see it. You'll love it!" He flashed me a small smile, an offering of piece, and turned the blinker on. I sheepishly smiled back, then turned my attention to out the window. 

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