A Smile Can Hide Anything

Chapter 11

//A/N: I have NO IDEA WHY some parts of this chapter are rhyming... I did this by accident and I find it pretty hilarious. So, just letting you know...//

~Dan's POV~

It was about 11:34 P.M. and snow started to fall still making the perfect snow aesthetic. I was staring at my window sill. I was thinking why do I have such deep and meaningful feelings towards Phil? I mean, he doesn't even care about me. (At least I don't think he does.) I looked down at the London streets. I could see people passing by it was late at night, but it was Saturday night. I could see a couple walking down the street. The girl wore a navy blue coat that went to her knees. She had bleach blonde hair and red dyed tips, she had ivy green eyes. The guy looked like a Ken doll. He had his short military cut dirty blonde hair and raindrop blue eyes. They had their arm around each other; They were laughing, they were smiling, and enjoying life together knowing that the love of their life is standing right next to them.

I sighed and looked up at the sky, the stars weren't shining as brightly tonight making everything dimmer and darker. I looked at the moon; that was dimmer and darker too. I feared the dark more than anything, I was glad I wasn't outside right now. I heard a thump, and with a beat, my heart jumped turning around towards my door. 

I could hear movement coming from Phil's room. I crept to Phil's door. I could hear murmurs coming from within the room. When I peeked through the crack of the door I saw a ghastly scene that will haunt me till I'm old and grey. Phil was sat up on the edge of his bed and Trinity had her legs spread making out with him and touching him everywhere. And of course, Phil was doing the same thing. I closed the door quietly and ran to my room closing the door as quietly as I could. 

I slid my back down my door putting my hands over my face. I don't know why it put me in so much pain to see Phil and Trinity doing what couples do late at night on a Saturday night. I guess its just the fact that I see Phil with someone that's not me pains me. This made my world shred into pieces, along with my heart. This made the burning of my cuts come back to me. Tears fell from my face endlessly. I felt like I would be crying for centuries. I hate to feel liking this and I feel like this every day of my life (At least since Trinity came along stomping into my life.) I knew I would feel like this for, at least until Trinity left. But, what if she never left? Phil and Trinity are like close together it hurts me to say this but, they're perfect for each other. Perfect. I want Phil to be happy and obviously, I'm just another burden for Phil. I know Phil wants to leave and live with Trinity and I would lose him. I looked up straight ahead. What if I just died? I thought. Would Phil care? How would he feel? He probably wouldn't care a single bit. I thought about death for a while. And I came to a final decision. I want to die. And I want to die tonight. I decided to grab a pencil and parchment and begin to write.