Just a kiss.

(1.5)

"Answer this, did you actually sleep with her? Sarah? After I left your room?" I asked. He opened his mouth to answer and I turned back around. "Actually don't answer cause I don't care," I said.

"Riley I-." I turned back to him.

"You have no idea how badly I wanted to kiss you before you left for New York. I thought I would never see you again. I cried myself to sleep for months thinking I wasn't good enough. After the third year, I stopped crying and locked down my feeling for you and drowned them where not even I can reach. Then you come back and demand that I'm yours? Right then and there I knew I was doomed. How can you kiss me and demand me to be yours and let another kiss all over you? Do you have any idea how that made me feel? NO, you don't because you didn't care. You pick girls up and throw them away when they no longer become useful." I said.

"I am trying to get better. You have no idea what I went throw before and after I left. My father? Yeah, he's a drunk. He's abusive as shit to my mother and sister. Yeah, I could have stayed but I love them. My mother and my sister are my everything. I didn't like him putting his hands on them so I allowed him to beat me instead. Somewhere along the line he kinda rubbed off on me. Made me this monster. I liked you too back then but he threatens to hurt anyone I care about if I ever went behind his back. I was a troublemaker. I always ended up in jail. So I could never show you or anyone love. I never learned how to. I don't tell you any of this because I want you to feel but for you to understand that I'm a work in progress. I will fuck up. But I want you to be the one person to tell me when I do. I hate that you begged me to leave you alone but I knew I was always crossing the lines." He said.

"I don't expect you to want to be with me. I just want to be friends." He said. I took a breath of air.

"Fine, but promise me you will be on your best behavior?" I said.

"I can promise to try." He said. I giggled. "Come here." He said. I walked over to him as the rain begins to stop. He hugged me and kissed my head. "Let's get you home." He said. I smiled as we walked to the car. When I got up to my room I took a shower and laid on my bed. Christian comes up the stairs in fresh clothes and jumps on the bed on his side. He lays next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder. "What did I miss?" He asked.

"Nothing, I haven't watched past our spot," I said. He smiles.

"So Katherine died and Elena is with Damon?" He said. I looked at him.

"Yup, can I start it now?" I asked.

"Duh." He said. I giggled and started it.

It was about 2 am when I heard footsteps upstairs. I opened my eyes to see Christian with his arms wrapped around me. I look over at the person to see Taylor. He tucked his hand in his pocket. I moved away from Christian without waking him up and walked over to Taylor. We walked down the stairs to the second floor. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and one foot up and touching the wall. I looked down.

"You like him?" He said after 3 minutes. I looked up at him to see him staring at the floor.

"He's not a boyfriend type. And he dumps a girl after he gets what he wants. He's a troublemaker. Has the cockiest attitude if he doesn't get what he wants and he's your best friend. I know how dangerous it is to love someone so broken but I can't help but do it." I said. He looked up at me.

"Love? Do you love him? Riley, are you kidding me? People don't just love someone after they get into their bed." He said.

"That's classic. You slept with Lola when she was 13 or 14. I was in a bad place when I slept with him but I don't regret it. I've always liked him but since he was your best friend and I was your little sister we weren't allowed to date. Not that he even noticed me." I said.

"He did actually," Taylor said. I looked at him.

"What?"

"The year before we left Christian waited for the right time to tell you that he liked you but you were at Lola's 24/7 he didn't have a chance. Well, when he finally got it I forbid him to even think of you in that type of way. His father was dangerous and I didn't want you brought in that." He said.

"Was?" I asked.

"In New York Christian found a way to get rid of his father. Well, something went wrong and he wasn't the same person he was before. Riley the Christian you knew isn't the one up in your bed. He changed. When we were in New York he wouldn't look at another girl or think about one. You were the one girl he saw. Whatever Emily did to him really fucked up his head. He needs help going back to who he used to be. And if I know anyone perfect for the job it's you. I don't like the idea of you two dating but if it makes you happy and helps him then so be it. But don't date him until you figure out the new him." He said. He walked downstairs and I was lost in thought.

What happened in New York?

I walked back upstairs and slid back in bed. Christian woke up. He smiled. "Hey, beautiful." He said. I smiled.

"Hey," I said. He leaned over and placed a kiss on my cheek.

"Taylor come home yet?" He asked. I nodded. "Did you talk to him?" He asked.

"He just doesn't want me getting hurt again," I said. He smiled.

"Never going to happen." He said.

"Christian, how did you and Emily break up?" I asked. His body tensed up. I looked him in the eyes.

"She did me wrong." He said.

"How?" I asked. He looked down at me.

"I know your eager to find out answers but some answers will break you. When the time comes I'll tell you. But you have to let me tell you." He said. I turned my body away from him staring at the wall. I know he wasn't ready to tell me and I wasn't ready to tell him my secret. "Riley?" He asked. I closed my eyes. "Good night beautiful." He said. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

All this talk about people changing and secrets made me think of mine. I don't know how I would have the strength to say it. Or have the strength to face him or Taylor after they find out. A lot has changed and so have I.