Binuksan ni Joshua Abalos ang pintuan para sa kanyang kapatid. Tinignan niya yung dala nito: tupperware na may laman na soup at isang jug na may laman na juice. Tinaasan niya ito ng kilay.
"May pagkain kami dito."
Nagroll yung mata ni Jason.
"Masama bang manlambing ng kapatid?"
Dumiretso yung dalawng lalaki sa living room. Balik na ulit sa makalat na lamesa, sa organized na CDs, sa maliwanag na lugar. Halatang halata ang biglang pagbabago ilang araw bago magkabati si Josh at Yana. Everything fell to its rightful place.
"Movie o BGM?" Naghahanap na siya ng mga magugustuhan nila.
"BGM lang."
"Michael Buble then."
Umupo si Josh sa may sahig. Tinikman niya yung soup nadala ni Jason at ngumiti.
"Gawa ni mama?"
"Only for her youngest child."
Tuloy tuloy lang silang humigop, occasionally na nagcocomment about sa kanta. At last, nilapag ni Jason yung bowl niya.
"So, tell me. Did you kiss and make up?" He teased. Josh suddenly turned gloomy.
"Ha! Bull. It's not easy. Hindi ganoon kadali i-gain yung trust ni Yana." Josh leaned back, flexing his arms.
"Paano ang nangyari?"
"She chose me."
It's not like Jason has anything against Yana's decision. Masaya siya dahil kapatid niya yung pinili nito. He is rooting for his brother, pero. Pero feel niya ang bigat ng desisyon ni Yana.
After all, she has been with the family for a long time.
"Then it's good news." Pinilip na sabihin ni Jason.
"I didn't expect her to chose me. I didn't want her to chose me."
Napatingin sa sahig si Jason. Tinignan niya ng maigi si Josh. There is no lie in what he said. Josh can't afford to lie these days. Ayaw na niyang sayangin ang oras niya para linisin pa yung mga ginawa niya.
"But you--"
"I know she stayed because she thinks I need her. I told you, she can be sacrificial if she wants to."
Jason stood up, his mouth ajar. Hindi siya makapaniwala sa mga sinasabi ng kapatid niya. His sickness definitely reached his brains. Tinaas niya ito gamit ang balikat nito.
"Sinabi mo na pinili ka niya. Yun na yun."
"She chose me out of pity! Sinong tao ang pipili sa isang taong kinakain na ng kamatayan?"
"Bullshit. Sa tinagal tagal niyong magkasama, nasasabi mo pa yan? What the hell is going on with you?!" Shinake ni Jason si Josh.
Hindi niya alam kung ano pa ang sasabihin. Nagagalit si Jason: dahil kay Yana na pinili si Josh. Dahil kay Josh na nagpapabaya na lang ng parang wala nang pag-asa. Bull. He thought all of his problems were done.
"What's your latest progress?"
"I signed the DNR." Kalmado pa si Jason.
"Alam ba niya?"
"Not until I stop breathing." His nonchalant reply fueled Jason's feelings.
"That's the most selfish thing I have ever heard."
Jason resisted the urge to just punch the hell out of Josh. Hindi man lang niya sinabi kay Yana? The girl has every say on what is going to happen to him! He signed that effin' DNR! And those agreements are not jokes. The hell, life and death is not a joke.
"It sounds selfish because you're not the one dying" Josh muttered. Hindi na muling niraise ni Jason yung topic, knowing that he didn't have anything good to retort.
"Do they have the heart?" Josh nodded.
"Change your mind. Hindi pa late!"
Josh shrugged, pulling himself away from his brother. The heart didn't matter. Everything could end in a matter of seconds. Damn his heart for not resisting its constant beating. Josh pounded his chest hard and repeatedly.
"Stop beating. !@#$ you, stop beating!"
Jason reached for his brother and pulled his hand. Niyakap niya ito at hinayaang isigaw lahat ng gusto niyang isigaw. Jason held on, knowing na wala siyang magagawa.
He wanted to kill himself for not finding any cure to his brother's problems.
"Just take the heart, please? If not for Yana, then for us."
Alam niyang in vain lang yung sinasabi niya.
~~
#VOTE :))))
