Sword and Shield (GxG)

Chapter Sixteen : The Twisted Past : Rikhata-Nia

Its been weeks now. No attacks. No raids. Nothing. I've healed just about fully, the cuts on my arm are gone, though the stab wounds left deep scars in my abdomen. All the weeks have gone by and all the East, it seems, fights their own battles. The castle is always awake. No one sleeps anymore. The ignorant  towns have begun to suspect that war is on the horizon, while the town who were told formerly have put themselves into a depression where the cost of needs far exceeds the money in the villages. 

And Evangaline. Weeks have gone by and she has done her best to avoid me. She doesnt speak much when we're together, so its rarely a comfortable occasion. Maybe she's caught on that I know she kissed me. If she has... I dont know what to think of it. I dont feel anymore. I've locked away my life in a dark corner of my soul. I dont care. Only one thing has haunted me. The truth. Why it bothers me so much that Lilian knew something about Evangaline that neither she nor I are aware of...  And I know its important. Why else would the queen say what she had? But if I think too hard on it I find my thoughts leading to my love; the Lilian I knew. The only one I've trusted in my life. This is why I cant love nor feel nor care. Maybe I could have feelings for someone... But I'm not ready. I would always think of Lilian and feel like a cheat. I would never open myself for fear of the loss love brings. I've even tried to block out Akyra, but as much as I hate it I need to put my faith somewhere and have someone who wont let me die. The way Evangaline is behaving I just dont know. I just dont know anything anymore. My life is a lie. My love was worth nothing to whom it was placed. My trust was broken. My mind had been damaged from losses I cant explain because Lilian... Why do I still have to think of her? Why do her silver eyes and raven hair haunt my every waking hour, and tempt me in my nightmares? Why does the very thought of her evoke such mixed feelings and longing as well as disgust? She is the only one who can make me feel anything.

"Rikhata" someone knocked at my door. 

"Come in" I sighed, laying back on my bed. I sat up when I realized it was the queen. 

"Do you remember what you asked me when you woke?" 

"Yes"

"Do you still want an answer, I warn you, it isnt the lightest burden"

"I want an answer. Why now?"

"War is coming and I dont believe it is right, nor within my rights, to keep such a truth from you. You've been through a lot and you deserve at least this. Though my warning stands"

"I need to know"

"As you wish. Evangaline is the Northern Witch" my jaw fell limply. Here in the East you can find a Wildling. In the South a Priest or Priestess, in the East a Mechanic, and in the North, a Witch. Not like the local witches who use little scraps of materials to brew and enchant, but a person who can curse, bless, burn and build. Though the North has never been too keen on blessings or buildings, so the title North Witch is one that has children hiding in their beds, or cowering in their mother's embrace. "She was brought here during the last Siege. Do you know of the king? He died in that siege"

"Yes and Evangaline was your child" I scowled. "The king your love"

"Neither are true. The king was never my love. You remember the day you came here, Evangaline would beat you for your sexuality. She has never known the truth... My love was a woman" so far today my life was forced back into me and I felt astonishment to my bones. "Evangaline was only one year old, sitting in a crib in a burning fortress. The North king and queen abandoned her to save themselves, after taking her from her birth family before she'd opened her eyes. Terrible things, they do true demonic pratices to warriors in the North. By one year Evangaline had already been made do more than she was expected. She was going to die. Though I did not love the king he was a close friend and his death shook me. Evangaline was like me, and she was too weak to even make it out alive, so I took her. And I never told her" the queen ended. 

"And what of your love?" I had to ask that.

"She.... She found a different calling and made a mistake that cost her... God.... It cost her good. She is a witch now. She gambled with her mind and she lost. I am sorry, it is hard to talk about"

"I understand. I also understand why Evangaline is the only light haired person in the East" I changed the topic. No one in the East was blond. Everyone here ranged from tawny brown to black, normally with very light, or very deep green eyes. North is generally white haired or blond with green eyes, West is all black hair, frizzy and unkept with deep caramel skin tones. South is full of blonds, all with blue eyes or purple eyes. A few with red, said to be stained with enemy blood. 

"She has always wondered. I tell her that the King had gold hair like she does" the queen smiled at me.

"Did he?"

"No it was rust orange" she mused. "Promise me one thing, RIkhata. Dont become like I was, it is better to hurt and love again than to love out your later years looking for some ray of light. And dont let the truth dampen your oppinion of Evangaline. Lastly, unless you see it absolutely fit, and I will put my faith in your judgment, do not tell Evangaline of her herritage"

"I swear"

"Thank you. You are truely a worthy Wildling. I will be seeing you at meal time" the queen bowed her head and left the room. I thought about what she said. And realized I didnt like being heartless. I slowly let my emotions out of their chest. I realized I dont love Lilian. I was just regreting my wasted life. I remembered what pain felt like, and it has never been so sweet. I remember pride and my heart, which finally beats again. 

**Hey looks like I got this before I planned and stole a few extra minutes of typing before bed ;) I'm in the mood for more Sword and Shield. How about you? I think I'll keep writing! Sorry if this is a little short for the wait :(