Shizaya one-shots

Denial

I sit in the pouring rain looking in the direction Izaya ran off. His words echoing through my mind and it's just hard to process it.

*few hours earlier*

I walk through Ikebukuro on my daily run with Tom and Varona. It's been so long since I've seen Izaya and honestly I'm missing him.

Mostly because everyone else that pisses me off isn't capable of fighting me for long. At least Izaya does something... wait.

No I can't think of him like that.

It makes me feel like I want to see him but I don't whatsoever. Though I really do at the same time... I want to hold him gently and kiss... wait! No I need to stop now!

I need to kill him if he's anywhere in Ikebukuro.

I continue to follow Tom to the different apartments to collect debt and a few times we've had some trouble but Varona handled it before I did.

After work Varona asks me if I would like to join her for dinner but I refuse. I just don't feel like being around anyone.

As I walk the streets alone back home I feel raindrops hit my face. Then out of the corner of my eye I see Izaya leaning against the wall looking in the opposite direction of me.

Is he talking to someone?

After a few seconds Izaya is finished and turns toward me. We lock eyes for just a few seconds and he smirks.

"So what did I do now to meet you today?"

"How should I know? I guess the thing you did was whatever you were doing just a little while ago."

"Well I was just talking to a client so if you excuse me Shizu-chan I'll be heading back to my apartment."

"Wait..." I say as he passes me and I grab onto his arm, stopping him.

"What do you want?" He asks looking at where I'm holding him.

"I need to say this... because it's been bugging my thoughts for awhile."

"Well spit it out. Nothing has stopped you before."

"I've been... thinking about you. Wanting to kill you-"

"Ah so nothing different." Izaya says cutting me off and starting to escape my grasp.

"But," I continue and tighten my grip, "I also feel like I want to hold you... and have good memories with you that are... calm and peaceful."

"Are you really that stupid? Caring about someone you're supposed to hate." He says now giving me eye contact.

He looks like he's teasing me which I guess is fare. I'm not really feeling like myself so I don't try to punch him or anything. We stare into each other's eyes, his teasing and mine possibly calm. The rain starts to pour harder and I break our silence to say, "But... I think I do have feelings for you. Maybe I think I like you... a lot. More than friends would... maybe more of a like-hate thing or a love-hate. I'm just saying-"

"Shut up." Izaya says cutting me off again then continues, "There's something wrong with you. This isn't like you thinking of that kind of things."

"Or maybe it is... Izaya in high school senior year I got a love letter once-"

"Stop right there." He cuts me off once again.

"No I won't. Izaya I got a love letter and what was said in it sounded like they loved me but also hated me."

"Why are you thinking about high school now?"

"Because... we were right here at that time when I caught you and you were so close to me our lips almost touched. You even seemed like you wanted to pull me into a kiss."

"I thought you would forget that."

"I did but I've been thinking about you for such a long time it came back once I started thinking I like you."

He says nothing so I continue.

"But I want to ask you something... do you like me?"

Izaya's eyes instantly change into a sharp glare once I ask and pushes me down then gets on top of me yelling, "I can't have those kinds of feelings for a monster like you! You're such an idiot!"

He keeps his hold on my neck still yelling about  never wanting me, hating me, and wanting to kill me. While all that goes on I keep a calm demeanor letting him yell his feelings to me.

I wonder if these are his real feelings...

As he yells I bring my hand up to his cheek then pull him into a kiss.

His yelling stops when I let go and he pulls away from me. Sitting on my stomach now and looking up at the sky letting the rain hit his face.

"You're a stupid protozoan." I faintly hear.

After that he gets off of me and runs away.

Izaya's POV

As I run off I feel hurt but also happy.

It took so long...

So long for him to notice...

So long for him to want me like that...

And what I did... was deny it all.

I denied his feelings because I'm honestly scared.

I thought I was past all of this stupid feeling called love.

Because what Shizuo Heiwajima probably doesn't remember was he denied me...

Before high school...

I'm sorry I haven't updated this book for such a long time I've just had horrible writers-block here and also personal issues for such a long time but I promise I'll get to more Shizaya fanfics. Also I'm now going to take up requests or recommendations on what to write next so you guys can help me out a bit maybe for this one-shot book. I hope you guys enjoyed! See you next chapter!