Loving The Mafia

Still hurts - 46

Emerald's POV

I wake up in a jolt, I feel the nausea kicking in again. I run to the bathroom and vomit, I hold onto the sink for support. I then take deep breaths. I hate feeling like this. I wash my face and I brush my teeth.

Christian walks into the bathroom, I look at him. He looks tired and concerned. "Are you ok Em?" He asks me.

I cut my eyes at him, I am still not on good terms with him. "I think I've just still got that disgusting image of Max in my head." I say to him rudely, I walk past him and then I hear him following me.

"Wait Emerald please." He says as he holds onto my arm. He looks at me with sorrow, "Please babe, forgive me. I am sorry ok. Maybe I went too far with the whole thing but you've got to understand-."

"Ok." I say to him, "Let's talk about this downstairs at breakfast. I'll make some waffles and while I make them you can tell me."

"Ok." He says in a mumble. We both walk downstairs and go into the kitchen. Christian sits down while I make waffles. "So when my mum and my dad were killed, obviously it was a difficult time for me." He says slowly and sadly, "I was so angry, depressed and so sad. I was only a kid and my parents, they were taken away from me just like that. Elijah and Luca were very young as well, they were scared and they didn't know how to look after me and Camila properly. I got into drugs, drinking. Other shit and I really messed up." I sit down next to Christian and he carries on telling me everything.

He explains why he hurt Max that way, he was furious. After his parents deaths it had such a massive effect on him and his siblings. It destroyed them.

Even though the image of Max was still plastered in my head, I understood why Christian did it and why he feels this way. I hold onto Christian's hand and I give him a sad smile. "Let's have some waffles then." I say as I grab a plate, I put some waffles on a plate and then Christian and I eat. Waffles. Yum, absolutely flipping delicious...

"That was amazing." Christian says as he takes the last bite of a waffle. "I could eat more and more."

"Me too." I chuckle, "That was delicious."

Christian and I talk to each other for a bit. A few lovely discussions about the wedding. I am super excited to pick out a gorgeous wedding dress. I want it to be white, long, lacey and decorative.

After a while I get up and stretch, "I'm going to go to the toilet." I tell Christian before I leave. I go to the bathroom and I do my business. I then realise... I'm supposed to be getting my period and it still hasn't come yet. I go on my app and check it, I'm really late.

I've been feeling nauseous a lot, I've been feeling tired, extra hungry, moody - could there be a possibility that I'm pregnant?

Oh my god.

I wash my hands and then I go back into the kitchen. I have this worried look on my face, what if I am actually pregnant? Would I really be able to raise a little baby properly?

I get out of the bathroom and I go back back to Christian, he looks at me with concern, "Em? What is it?" He asks me, "What's wrong?"

"I-I don't know." I stutter, I sit down next to him, "I'm late and I think that I'm pregnant - can you please get me a pregnancy test?"

He pulls me into a warm hug, "Don't cry and don't be scared Emerald, I'm here." He reassures me, "I'll go buy you a test, just don't stress yourself out." He gives me a kiss on the cheeks, then on the lips. He gets up and goes upstairs, I just sit lie down on the sofa.

There are a million things that are going around in my head. I am so so scared, if I am pregnant I don't know how I'm going to be able to cope. My mental state is already a mess. I want my baby to have everything, I want my baby to be healthy and happy. I'm just really nervous right now.

Christian goes out and buys me the pregnancy test. When he gets back he gives me a hug and a kiss on the forehead, "Whatever it is, I'll be here to support you babe." He whispers, he gives me the pregnancy test.

I go to the bathroom with shaky hands and legs, I pee on the test and then I put it down. I tried to just wait in the bathroom for five minutes but I couldn't. I was getting so anxious, I went back in the living room and sat next to Christian in silence. Five minutes pass, I get up and so does Christian. We go into the bathroom, I get the pregnancy test in my hand and look at it.

Oh my god. A tear falls down my cheek, "I'm pregnant." I say with no emotion, I look at Christian and he has no readable expression on his face.

He hugs me tight, "It will be ok." He says to me, "I promise you baby, it will be ok."

I look at him, more tears just fall down my eyes, "What if i-it isn't?" I sniffle, "I'm sorry about the crying but I'm so scared, I want this baby to have everything. I want this baby to be happy and healthy, I w-."

"I will look after you gorgeous." He says to me as he holds my hand, "I will look after you and this baby. I will protect you and help you, I love you."

I nod my head, "I love you too. I just - I don't know how I feel about this really. I'm having a baby... That's so crazy."

"Our life is crazy." He says and he chuckles, I laugh along with him and then give him an embracing hug. "I love you so much." I remind him again in a whisper.

"I love you too baby."

Thank you for reading.

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♡ Song - Ariana Grande - One last time