Unsaid

chapter thirty five

Louis did indeed take me home, where he insisted on staying for as long as he could until my mother insisted that he left due to the hour. Although he helped being here with me, I preferred being on my own, sometimes being left alone with your thoughts is terrifying, but then again, sometimes it’s a godsend.

I wasn’t any company for Louis any way, several times he attempted to draw me in to a conversation, whether it was about Niall, my brother or a program on television, and several times I shrugged him off and threw my head back down on to the pillow.

So now I sat alone in my bedroom, surrounded by my own sorrow and sadness. The voices from downstairs created a gentle hum that would have been soothing if id have not known that the voices were coming from those of my mother and brother. My father had disappeared for the evening, leaving the house shortly after he had returned from work. I was terrified of what they were speaking of downstairs, I knew that my brother despised me, now more than ever, but something told me he wouldn’t go as low as to tell mum about Niall and I.

I had to put all this to the back of my head, I wasn’t in a fight with anyone but my brother, and that would be alright, we would be alright because we were family.

I tried with all my strength to think about something other than today, I forced random thoughts in to my head, trying to ease the swelling of my brain from today.

…

I woke up to the sound of dishes clattering downstairs, and sunlight streaming through my window. I pulled myself out of the bed I hadn’t moved from since yesterday evening and got myself ready for the day.

I wasn’t sure where I stood with Niall, yesterday I had every intention of leaving him behind and attempting to go back to my normal life, but then I suppose there was always something in me that I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave him so easily, id become attached.  But today I was going to stay away, I wanted, needed to get back to Ben, because he loved me. Not just fickle love that revolves around kisses and intimate moments, like Nialls ‘love’ for me.

…

I smiled at Louis as I slipped in to the designated seat in religious education, a few rows behind Louis. his smile towards me was sympathetic, but I didn’t want sympathy, nothing that horrible had happened, worse will happen im sure if I stay with Niall.

The day went by slowly, lunch was quiet, the atmosphere was tense, it felt as though everybody was too scared to speak, after yesterday’s events, and it all became awkward.

“Are you and your brother, uh..” Liam began as I looked up from my lap raising an eyebrow. “Are you two okay?”

“Not really, but it doesn’t matter, don’t feel so bad around me.” I sighed tightening the pony tail I had in my hair, they all nodded going back to silence. I sighed again as my friends completely ignored my request.

I pulled out my phone seeing I had a new message, I opened it up as Bens name flashed at the top of the screen.

“I’ll be leaving school early today(: pick you up and see you later xxx”

I smiled tucking the phone in to my pocket, that’s what I needed, I needed to see Ben, to become connected to him once again.

I looked up to see Louis squinting through the sun that was shining in his eyes as he looked at me quizzically.

“Ben’s meeting me after school.” I explained as he nodded, leaning back on the bench indulging the last of this year’s sun.

Everybody else remained silent when they learned of my news, obviously disapproving of it all. But Niall hadn’t attempted to talk, or pull me away from my friends all day, I could see him, and occasionally id catch him staring, sitting at the edge of the field, surrounded by his friends, who looked like they had outcast him a bit, as he sat at the outer of the circle, facing in the opposite direction.