Jack Frost is Trouble

Thirteenth

I'va always been unlucky. Considering I was the thirteenth son... 

I've accepted it really. And now I'm sitting in a jail cell. Imprisoned for life. 

I suppose I deserve it. Truth be told, I haven't been the same since the day I found that bloody mirror.

It happened when I was around 5.

I remember the day clearly. My "mother" had just yelled at me. At the time, I'd simply cried. 

If I could go back, I would have told her she shouldn't be treating me so horribly. How was it my fault that her husband was a horny bastard??

I remember each word. When you're five, words wash over you but tone... you never forget the tone. They could say the most horrible things in the sweetest tone and it'll be a beautiful memory till you realise what the words mean.

In this case, the memory has been made doubly sour.

Anyway, I remember walking into that room. I don't know why I did. Maybe it was because I felt like it was calling to me.

I don't know why I'm remembering all this now. Maybe the knowledge of my impending death is casuing me to remember all of it. 

Either way, I walked into the room and stared into the massive mirror on the wall. 

All I saw was my own reflection. A sad boy, tears running down his cheeks after being called a bastard by his mother. It looked like I was staring at my identical brother Finn and I touched the mirror lightly. He was at someone's house at the time but looking at the mirror made me feel like he was there with me. 

My light touch shattered the mirror. The shards flew towards me and although I ducked, I felt something lodge in my heart and eye. It hurt a lot but when I looked down, there was nothing. 

When I think about it, it was probably some warped hallucination I had. I mean, if a shard had pierced me, wouldn't I have seen the blood? The hallucination was probably caused by the stress and fear that resulted whenever I went to my mum. But I guess when you're five, things seem incredibly realistic. I thought it was magic but my mum hit me when I mentioned it. She thought I was wasting her time. 

"What mirror? We don't have any mirrors in this house other than the ones in the bathroom. And if you've shattered my vanity mirror, I won't leave you, got that?"

I'd just held my cheek and nodded. When I went back, the mirror was gone. As a five year old, themagical nature struck me. But I repressed that memory. If my mother ever thought I was wasting her time, she'd strike me. So from that moment, I learned to not voice my flights of fancy. But something else happened as well. Everywhere I looked, I saw ugliness. There was no light anymore, just darkness, hatred and misery. Maybe the hallucination was a turning point and really solidified my hatred towards everything and resulting detachment. 

I don't know what that mirror did. But I'd be damned to think it was magic. What a stupid thing to believe. 

All I knew was that I was a Beast, a heinous monster.

Anna had loved me. But I could never see her as beautiful. I think I lost that ability at the age of five. I believe it was because of how my mother hit me when I demonstrated imagination and that mirror was my most creative invention yet. If you can't imagine beauty, how the hell are you supposed to see it?

That was the year I nearly drowned Finn. I felt the evil side of me take over in that moment. I remember pushing him in. All I could see was the way our mother loved him and not me. And he developed a warped form in my mind. He didn't care about me, he just wanted to turn our mum against me. All my brothers did.