The Nerd rejecting her Alpha Mate (Incomplete & Unedited)

Chapter 17

Okay, so I haven't updated in a while - A very, very long while - and I probably won't be able to again for a few more weeks either. :(

My laptop is broken but I'm slowly saving up for a new one, however that is going to take a few more months, and the only working computer we have in the house is the family one.

Now as you can imagine that gets rather hectic, but especially because my mother is home all day every day so she will use it most, and when she isn't my little brother is, either for socializing or for his coursework, so this is the first time I've been able to use it for a month! 

So as an apology, and because I really should, here's what I've managed to edit of chapter 17 so far :) I hope you enjoy it, and thank you for being so patient with me, even if it frustrates you at times. 

*WARNING* Swearing ahead 

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I refused to look over at my best friend, afraid that I would see pity and anger, so I turned back to the car and made a fuss about checking the doors were locked and the windows up, gaining a scant few seconds of time to compose myself. I hated being pitied and I hated upsetting my friends, and I hated the way I felt about Daniel and Matty. Everything would have been so much simpler if I had just loved Matty platonicly, like a brother, like I should. Yeah, like I could ever do that. He’s too lovely for his own good ... or for mine. I wearily shook my head and pushed those thoughts to the back of my head as I started to walk towards the school.

“You do know what it’s like, don’t you? You know what it’s like to be in love with someone you can’t be with.” Hannah called softly. My feet froze in their steps and my whole body thrummed with the pounding of my blood in my ears as her words hit me. My throat closed up, my mouth filled with air I couldn’t swallow, my eyes widened, wet and stinging. She wasn’t meant to know. No one was meant to know. They said it wasn’t real, but if Han could see it too then it must be, mustn’t it? I can’t have been imagining it...

“Something happened between you and Matty didn’t it? Something that made you more than just friends.” Hannah took advantage of my shocked state as she stepped in front of me and looked me in the eye with sudden understanding and concern. All I could focus on where her eyes. Those eyes had seen what I thought I’d imagined, what everyone told me I was making up. But it was real, It had to be! If Hannah could see it too, then that meant I wasn’t going crazy. Never in the past has she been wrong about this sort of thing. Hannah was always the one who knew what was going on before anyone else did.

“Kennie, are you alright?” Hannah questioned, worry evident in her voice. I sharply shook my head. My breathing was too fast, my heart was thumping madly, and I was torn between wanting to cry and scream. I drew in a large breath of air and wrapped my arms around myself, slowly willing myself to calm down.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, I just ... you can see it too?” I asked imploringly. After a pause she nodded and I let out a deep sigh of relief, the painful tightness in my chest alleviated, a few small tears escaped and raced each other down my cheeks, and my arms relaxed from their tight grip. It startled me just how intensely the realization that what everyone had half convinced me was false, was true, hit me.

“I thought I was imagining it. I thought ...” I trailed off, holding back a sob as more tears escaped.

“Imagining what?” Hannah questioned, but she answered herself. “You thought you were imagining the feelings between you and Matty?” Hannah let out a laugh and I looked at her in confusion. What was funny about this?

“Darling, I’m sure even the jocks would be smart enough to figure out there was something between you and Matty. If the tension between you two was any more tangible, we would need a Dragon rider’s sword just to cut through it.”