cold ❀ thirty five

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tw: poetic sex (not actual smut but poetry of the events)

i think this chapter is so shit tbh

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[年齢 17/16] (3/?)

"you're sure you're ready for that?" josh asked lightly, his heart beating just a little too fast, and his face giving off the eagerness that he was trying desperately to hide.

tyler's face was redder than it's ever been, and he couldn't look josh in the eyes. "i.. don't know.. i-i've been thinking about it for a while.. and.. i just.." tyler stopped talking from pure embarrassment, closing his lips tightly and covering his face with his hands, a little whine of disappointment in himself escaping him.

"tyler, stop, it's alright, i was just surprised you'd ask something like this," josh said, hugging his boyfriend.

"i'm so stupid, i'm sorry, j-josh," tyler was crying now, mostly from embarrassment, "never m-mind, forget i s-said anything.."

josh shushed him as tyler cried. "if you are completely sure, and really want to, we can, but if you want to wait, or if you don't think you're ready, don't rush yourself just for me, sugar." josh rubbed his fingers through tyler's hair. tyler almost liked crying to josh sometimes, only because he holds him like this and makes him feel so safe. of course tyler could simply ask, but, since it's tyler, that'd be too embarrassing.

"n-no, i really, really want to.." tyler mumbled, covering his face in josh's shoulder. they were in josh's backseat, since the place they used to go to was too full to even enter. "..do you?"

josh sucked in a breath, searching for the right words to say in his mind, finding it difficult. "..yeah, there isn't much a boy with a long distance relationship could do but think about it."

tyler squished his eyes together, giggles escaping him finally from the idea popping into his head. he shook his head, getting out the feeling of second hand cringe on the back of his neck, burying his face in josh's shoulder.

the fact that they were both only teenagers and underage didn't really faze them at all. love was all that mattered to them at this point. the uncertainty of seeing each other again. possibly teenage hormones mixed with reuniting lust.

"are you perfectly sure, tyler? you could never think more about this," josh asked again. he put his hands on tyler cheeks as he asked, he was determined to make sure that he wouldn't even stutter. he was so worried for tyler. tyler was so fragile, who knows where his mental state will go.

"i'm sure, i am positively sure," tyler spoke softly. tyler spoke confidently enough to let joshua's worry close up inside. at least enough to believe tyler.

"i love you."

"i love you too, josh."

"tyler, where the fuck you goin'?" ryan asked, mumbling slightly from sleep in his throat.

"i'm going to see josh," tyler said, an equally as quiet whisper.

"for what? he can keep it in his pants 'til tomorrow." tyler huffed slightly.

"please don't tell anyone, thank you, ry, love you," he said, opening the door quietly, before he heard ryan sit up in the bed they were both sleeping in.

"what if they find out?" ryan asked. not like he was going to tell, more out of curiosity.

tyler blushed in the slightest, "i don't know, it certainly won't be good."

ryan smirked a bit, "if you guys fuck and do this on the regular you could be somethin' straight out of a shakespeare play."

"goodnight, ry," tyler said as ryan silently laid down in the bed again, waving him off.

as tyler was tip toeing down the staircase he thought of romeo and juliet. ryan was right. though they weren't like them. not at all. romeo and juliet was compelled of lust, and josh wasn't just for lust. they've dated for years and never asked.

"you alright?" josh asked once tyler was in his car.

"yeah, just thinkin'," tyler smiled.

josh, being the gentleman he is, had stolen his dad's credit card to pay for a hotel room. a good one too, not a cheap one that would be infested with bugs and the lights burnt out.

josh couldn't just have tyler's first time in the back of his car either, no matter how rebellious and sexy it could possibly be.

tyler stared out the window the whole drive, his mind flowing with different thoughts, all centered around the boy sitting next to him somehow.

he trusted josh completely.

at the hotel it was exactly how tyler thought it would be, it would be awkward as hell from first entering.

their night started with light, and a little shy, kisses, and paying for an unplanned room-service for a snack, and to make everything a little less intimidating. the thought was both in the back of their minds of sexual intentions, though they were both just a little too shy to initiate anything before at least an entire hour.

it was only when their conversation came to a close and their tummies were full that tyler kissed josh on the lips, a lucky 'do not disturb' sign on the outside of their door and their trays of food underneath it.

it was close to ten at night, when clothes were being discarded, their hearts beating out of their chests and their lips stuck in a state of breathlessness.

they could never be too close, pulling at each other just for more of each other. not even a piece of paper could fit in between their skin, which was always somehow in contact with the other's.

little giggles left tyler's mouth when joshua's cheeks were flushed, pants escaping lips faster than their heart beats.

the room's lights were out with struggle as josh reached over the bedside table to flip the switch, tyler's lips attached to his almost like magnets.

tyler felt shivers when his bare back was met with the cold, his bare legs as well, covering himself up in habit.

josh whispered feathery sayings in tyler's ears, telling him things he loved to hear, all true, of course, josh wouldn't dare lie to him.

joshua was anxious through parts of it he couldn't control, such as how much pain tyler could be in before it began to feel better. being josh's first time as well, he didn't know if it was something much worse than the usual, making him on edge.

tyler was shy from every little thing josh did, blushed cheeks, and closed eyes, admiration for the boy above him overflowing all the more.

of course it was painful, though when they were utterly satisfied and simply laying next to each other on the bed for a while, the two secret lovers felt nothing but bliss.

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