cold ❀ joshler | bryler

cold ❀ sixteen

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[年齢 15/15] (1/?)

"momma, stop!"

"stop what, tyler?"

"stop fighting over me! i'm not just something you guys can just use to f-fight each other with! i w-want to be able to see both of you!"

"it's not about what you want all the time, tyler!"

"shouldn't i get a choice about who i get to see? what if i don't like it here, o-or what if i miss daddy? can i ever go see him again? or will it be i-illegal?"

"i said no, tyler."

"but it's my birthday! it's the only thing i want! can't i see him at least for that?"

his mother closed her eyes, the way every mother does before they are about to burst, and it made tyler's heart shatter through his sweater and his face scrunch up from the need of tears.

"go to your room, tyler. come out in an hour with a different mindset."

tyler hated arguing with his mother, so he didn't. he just ran out of the dining room and rushed up the stairs to his bedroom before a tear stained his cheek. he wasn't crying very hard, it was just so hard for him. it was his birthday and the only thing he wanted was to have split custody with his dad. or at least to see him at all before the lawsuit is settled.

he pinched the side of his stomach underneath his sweater, a terrible habit he picked up whenever he needed to cry and didn't want to. his nails were sharp, bringing and equally as sharp pain to his side, right under his chest.

he didn't dare look at the damage it left, ever. not even if it started to draw blood, he never looked. he didn't realize it's just like cutting, only a different form of it. he honestly knew something like that, but he didn't want to admit it to himself.

he pressed a hand against his door, his fingernails digging into his skin, making him cringe and tears form in his eyes, though they weren't from the emotional pain anymore.

after a few minutes of standing in the same spot, pinching the same chunk of skin, he stopped. he wasn't staring at anything, only his imagination.

he dried his eyes with his bright blue sweater, opening the door lightly. when he didn't hear, nor see, his mother, he slipped out leaving the door cracked open for the silence of the door not being closed.

he grabbed his backpack from the hallway and opened the front pocket to get his phone, which his parents still didn't know about. he could hear his heart beating through his ears, though he didn't know why he was worrying about something like this.

"where do you think you're going? it's only been thirty minutes, young man." his mother's eyes were pink, surrounded multiple divorce and custody papers on the dining room table, where she was turned around to face her son.

"o-out."

"out where? you aren't allowed to just go out, tyler. you are fifteen, not twenty-five."

tyler didn't say anything as he pressed the elevator button, not looking to his mother.

"tyler robert joseph, get over here right now."

he stepped in the elevator and pressed the button to the third penthouse, while his was the fifth. the third penthouse was brendon's. somewhere tyler knew that's what his mother knew, since she made no movements to get up and get him.

"i'll be back tomorrow."

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"i was going to go see you later, but now i guess i don't have to."

"can i stay the night? my momma's making me real mad."

brendon's smile slowly faded, "sure, what happened?"

tyler hugged brendon, to which he hugged back, right there in front of the elevator. "i-it's about my dad."

brendon exhaled. not in relief, but in sympathy.

"stay right here, okay?" tyler nodded and let go of brendon, sitting down on the floor as he watched brendon run upstairs and then slowly open a door in the corner of the hallway. tyler knew all about brendon's mom, who had been recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and had just gotten chemotherapy. he was probably just telling her he was there, since brendon told her everything, especially since she had gotten sick. they had gone on a family trip during the summer because it would be the last one before she got chemo.

"come on," brendon said, walking down the stairs. he now had on a loose jacket, though it was almost snowing. brendon and tyler had a lot in common. "let's go."

tyler stood and straightened his sweater, "go where?"

"well, it is your birthday, right?" brendon walked past tyler and pushed the elevator door, "we can go wherever you want."

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"how is it?"

tyler pursed his lips and smiled, "it was great! bren took me out and got me starbucks, and then we went to the pet shop melanie works at and she gave us extra time with nicole, that kitten that i was telling you about, then bren's mom made some really good pancakes because she knows i love her pancakes, and now m'spending the night! it was a good day." tyler was wearing one of brendon's pajama tops, a white, long sleeve shirt with an alien emoji on the front that didn't fit brendon anymore and had been thrown in the wash with a red colored blanket. so now it had a slight tint of pink. joshua would say something about it, though brendon was right next to him, and they both basically hated each other. tyler absolutely hated that.

"sounds like a good day, gorgeous," joshua said with a warm smile that made tyler's tummy flip. "i wish i could be there with you to make it even better."

brendon was listening right next to tyler, though he was on his phone pretending he wasn't.

"i wish you were here too so you could give me a big hug," tyler said, not looking at brendon's computer that tyler was facetiming josh with. "i love your hugs.."

"i love you, tyler," joshua said, saying it mostly because he meant it and because he hadn't said it in a long time because tyler was too flattered for it, and because he liked to piss off brendon. and he succeeded because brendon turned his head ad glared at joshua. tyler blushed red and was speechless for a moment.

"i-"

"i need a word with josh for a second," brendon said, quickly grabbing the computer and walking out of the room. tyler watched as he left still shocked that joshua said it again. tyler had told him to stop because one, it used to flatter him so much it made him anxious, and two, it only made him sad because he didn't want for josh to love him the way tyler did him.

not without being in the same place. where they could see each other. where they could properly love each other.

where they could fight off the same dark, cold, world together.

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