cold ❀ joshler | bryler

cold ❀ twenty nine

❀🌨❀

[年齢 16/16] (4/?)

tyler: brendon!! josh is at our school! what a creepy guy! i had to hide in the bathroom today during lunch.. i'm in fourth period and people are still outside so i'm gonna wait until they're gone
i think ashley left school today, thank goodness.. she'd never miss a test

brendon suddenly felt sadness rising in his chest. like a blow to his heart. he just got scared.

when brendon was just on the internet on his phone he saw the you tube video of josh in their school. he freaked out. maybe that's why he did it. or maybe because he was constantly on edge these days.

with his mother being back at the hospital and all. she had a rare brain cancer that ruined her life. she couldn't speak, walk, or even think at times. it was hell, and it happened randomly. the seizure from his mom happened when brendon got home from walking tyler to school. he didn't bother texting tyler about it, it would have made his day horrible.

the doctors said that brendon's mother had only a few months left at best, as long as that day's surgery went well, which it usually did.

after brendon, and his other mom helped her to the hospital, they didn't let them see her. she almost had a seizure, which happened to her quite a lot before all the symptoms happened.

"mom," brendon said quietly. the waiting room to an er in a hospital is silent, and most times, heartbreaking. "i'm gonna go get some air."

"keep your phone with you brendon, you never know what can happen," she said. she was twiddling her thumbs together, and brendon almost considered staying. but anger was getting to him after seeing josh at his school online. he could only be there for one thing.

"okay, love you mom."

brendon zipped up his grey jacket before heading out the doors, instantly starting to run out of the hospital grounds. the penthouse wasn't too far, but it was a good run.

he was running before sliding his shoes against the pavement less than ten minutes later, looking up to the sign above him.

he'd told himself he'd stop doing this, but right now especially, he really needed it.

and new york gas station tellers couldn't give two shits about formality. they look at you and see if you look like an adult. apparently brendon looked eighteen since he was fifteen.

"pack of camels," brendon mumbled to the teller, getting out the wad of cash stuffed in his pockets and sliding it over. the teller didn't even look at him for fucks sake.

"thanks."

brendon put the pack of cigarettes in his pockets, his phone chiming, but ignoring it as he continued to run to the penthouse. the only reason he ever got cigarettes is to calm him down. the aesthetic smoke and the deep breaths in and out with a purpose really made a difference to brendon. of course he had to stand on his patio with nothing but boxers on to not have the smell everywhere, but he thought it was worth it to have sanity somewhere.

in reality, he fucking hated smoke with a passion.

once he got to the penthouse a thought entered his mind. he had clicked the elevator door, but quickly slipped out to regain his thoughts. the people around him looked at him like he was crazy, but he really was. he has anger issues, especially since he's been lightheaded lately, and stress is on him anyway.