cold ❀ joshler | bryler

cold ❀ thirty one

major trigger warning for this chapter. not for the sensitive of mental health issues.

❀🌨❀

[年齢 16/16] (6/?)

life isn't fair.

that's what brendon kept saying over and over to help him forgive himself.

life isn't fair.

he couldn't have tyler, his mom is hospitalized, he just sold out his best friend/crush which would probably ruin him beyond compare, and worst of all, the last time he went to the hospital, they said he was most likely to get the same brain cancer his mom has.

he couldn't tell if that was a bad thing anymore.

when he got back to his house, he tore his clothes off faster than the time before. he grabbed a cigarette from the pack, shaky hands blowing out the fire from the lighter twice before actually lighting it.

brendon went out his patio quickly when he started to smell smoke.

brendon stepped up the railing like a ladder, carefully placing himself down on the top on, looking down. he saw hundred of people below him. he used to sit on his railing like this, until he was ten, when he literally was holding on for dear life when he got scared by his mom and fell off.

he got up safely, but it was the closest he's ever been to death.

except bow of course, as he was bigger than he was when he was ten, and he was shaking. he was crying too, holding back soft sobs which made his body jerk back each time.

life is unfair.

"hello?" he answered when his phone started ringing. "okay, i'll be there soon."

he hung up and considered leaning forward.

❀

"i was with a friend," tyler said, nervousness stuck in his voice as he set his backpack down. his mom wasn't drinking out of a glass, but a whiskey bottle.

"what friend?" she asked, anger trapped in her body language. tyler's breath hitched as she balled her hand into a fist on the bottle, with white knuckles.

"just an old friend, momma," he replied softly, his hands almost defensively in front of him from fear. his mom was an aggressive drunk.

"when i was at work today, an 'old friend'-" she used air quotes and an a sarcastic smile that made tyler's heart hurt, - "showed me a video of you and that old friend you say."

tyler flushed red from embarrassment and fear.

"momma, how much have you been drinking?" tyler asked.

"excuse me?" she said, furrowing her eyebrows at tyler. "who do you think you are?"

"i'm sorry, momma," tyler said, a tear falling from his eyes as she raised her voice.

"your old friend looks very familiar. what's his name?"

"j-joshua," he stuttered out. he was afraid to go sit down.