The Destitute Queen || h.s. au

70. Harry

There are certain moments in life that test your strength of heart. When I was seven years old, my father had two people murdered in front of me. No child should ever have to experience such horrors as I have. Since that traumatic experience, I have seen countless murders, from ropes to swords. None of them have scarred me as much as those first two people.

     Nearly two months ago, I fell into a deep, forbidden love in which there is no return. I knew that I was to be married off and yet, I couldn't stay away from her. I was drawn to her like a moth is drawn to a warm, radiant flame. I should have known that, if the moth gets to close to the enticing flame, it dies a terrible, burning death. It won't be the flame that kills me, however. The flame is what gives me life. What's going to kill me is the one who puts the flame out.

Ten minutes ago, I found out that I was to be married in a week's time. While everyone around me cheered and applauded, I had blocked everything out. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see, I couldn't feel. It was almost as though my heart stopped beating for a split second. I couldn't bear to look at her, or anyone else for that matter.

I am weakening. I have grown accustomed to the stabbing of my heart, but it doesn't hurt any less. This life was never meant for me. I could have been contempt growing up in the village, working hard and having friends.

Maybe I could have even met Lena, and we could have gotten married. We would have known each other for years, since the village is quite small and it seems as though everyone knows each other. She wouldn't be forced to look after my family, and I would spend the rest of my life taking care of her and our children. We could have been happy.

A happy life was not meant for me, I suppose. I don't know what I did to deserve this life but, if I did, I'd take it back in a heartbeat. There isn't anything I wouldn't do in order to be free of this life.

"Harry?" Liam's voice brings me out of my thoughts. "Are you alright?"

I look up at him in confusion, and then look around. Everyone has gone back to what they were doing before the announcement, and Louis isn't anywhere in sight. How long have I been zoned out?

"...No," I admit, shaking my head. "I'm not."

He sighs. "I'm so sorry, little brother. I'll talk to Father as soon as I can, I'll try to change his mind."

"Father won't change his mind," I say lifelessly. "He's too selfish to think about his children."

"Would you feel better if you held Penelope for a bit?" He asks. "You should see her in her adorable little dress. I didn't even know a dress could be made for a one-month-old. She doesn't get put to sleep until seven, so you'll get a good hour with her."

I give Liam a weak smile. "I actually would like that."

"Great," he grins. "Follow me."

Liam leads me through the crowd of people until we reach the corner of the room, where a nurse is tending to Penelope. She bows her head and Liam takes Penelope from her, handing the precious beauty to me.

Holding babies will always and forever dissolve my worries. Looking into my niece's eyes, I can't help but feel a warmth inside of me. If I were to have the chance to choose one gift in life, it would be to have a child.

Penelope smiles at me and my vision blurs, and I give her a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

"You good now?" Liam asks, and I look up at him.

"For now," I nod, pushing the thoughts that are looming over me to the back of my mind and focusing on Penelope's beautiful smile. Will I ever have a daughter of my own?