The Destitute Queen || h.s. au

63. Prue

January 24th, 1560

"I had said it too soon," Lena explains to me as we carefully wash Princess Catherine's lilac gown, which she insisted on wearing for the wedding tomorrow.

"Did you mean it, though?" I ask her. Over the past few weeks, we had confided our secrets to each other. She's been telling me about Harry, as I have been telling her about Liam.

She shrugs. "I don't know, honestly. I think I was just happy that he brought my brothers here. That was a few weeks ago, though, and my feelings have grown stronger since then. I do love him now, I just wish I hadn't said it so soon."

"Well, have you said it since then?" I ask her, trying to scrub a stain out of the dress. The Princess got so much dirt on this dress, it makes me wonder if she did this on purpose. "On a separate note, shouldn't you be with Lady Belladonna now?"

"She keeps giving me breaks," Lena tells me. "She gave me yet another day off, but I don't know why. Her wedding is tomorrow, you'd think she would need help preparing. Although, I do have to be there for the final fitting of her wedding dress in a couple of hours...and no, I haven't said it since then."

"Wait," I say, adding some soap to the water. "It's been a few weeks since you first said it, but you haven't said it since then?"

She sighs, rolling her sleeves up a bit more. "I know, I'm awful. For some reason, I just can't bring myself to say it again. I don't know why, because I definitely do love him now."

"Do you think there's maybe a part of you that's scared to love him?" I ask, and she looks up at me.

She furrows her brows. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, it's not easy falling in love with someone who's promised to another," I point out, my heart sinking a bit. "Maybe that's why you can't bring yourself to say it yet. Because you know that it can't last forever."

"Why the hell are you so smart?" She giggles, and I laugh with her.

I shrug. "It just comes naturally, I suppose."

Her smile slowly disappears, and I can only assume she realized what I actually said. "I think you're right, though. I mean, he's going to be married in less than two months, to a woman I've never even personally encountered. I can't even look at her without wanting to cry, honestly."

"Yeah, I know how you feel," I say. "It gets better, though. Trust me."

"How do you do it?" She asks. "I don't mean it in a judgmental way, not at all. I mean, I don't know how you don't break down crying like I always feel like doing. Knowing that Harry is going to be married to someone else hurts me so much, so how do you cope with something like that?"

"It's not easy," I admit, looking up at her. "It's not like I wanted to be in this situation, I just love him too much to end it. Trust me, though. You and Harry really have something special, and I'm sure you'll find a way to be together."

"I just don't want to be with him if he has to be with someone else, it makes me feel terribly guilty," Lena says quietly. Then, she clears her throat. "Enough about me, though. How are you doing? You know, with Prince Liam and the baby."

"I'm doing alright," I tell her, still struggling to get the damn stain out. "I haven't been able to speak to Liam yet, though."

Lena widens her eyes. "What? But, it's been weeks!"

"I know," I shrug. "He's just been so busy lately, he's stressing out about those men that the King sent to that island, and his wife is neglecting Princess Genevieve and is barely paying attention to Princess Penelope, and I think Liam believes that he needs to be responsible for everything that's happening."