I Wont Turn Away

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I woke up suddenly. What? Why did I wake up? There was a knock at my door and I assumed that was why I woke up. Who is knocking on my door at 1 o’clock at night? It better not be Sammi, I need a good night’s sleep after her waking me up at stupid o’clock yesterday. I walked towards my black door frame and grasped the silver handle. I opened the door revealing a wide awake looking Andy.

‘What do you want?’ I asked with a hint of annoyance in my voice. I put the majority of my weight on my right leg which told Andy I was annoyed.

‘Can I come in?’ he asked stuttering a little. Why is he awake at this time of night? He should be asleep he has school tomorrow! God I sound like his mother. I stood aside and motioned for Andy to walk inside. I wonder what he wants to talk about I wondered as I watched him sit on my messed up bed.  I walked over sitting beside him and asking what he wanted to talk about.

‘I want to apologise, about yesterday. I shouldn’t have kissed you and then pulled away suddenly. It was wrong.’

‘So why did you do it?’

‘Look Jamie…’ he grabbed my hand and caressed it with his thumb. Oh no. ‘I like you, I really do but I don’t know if you like me back or you just want someone to love you. You were vulnerable when I kissed you and I feel like I took advantage of that. I just couldn’t resist.’ He sighed looking down in shame. Of course I like him and I think in the future ill actually love him. I wanted him to kiss me. I smiled with a tear in my eye. I don’t know why it was there but it was. I wasn’t sad or anything. In fact I was quite the opposite. I lunged forward and engulfed him in a giant hug. When we pulled away he grabbed my face and collided his lips with mine. It was a forceful kiss full of lust and passion. And I loved it.

---

‘Aww!’ I heard Sammi say. That was shortly followed by footsteps gradually getting louder.

‘There’re so cute together!’ I think that was CC, I take it they are at the door way.

‘Should we wake them up?’ Ashley asked

‘We’re already awake’ I heard Andy whisper/yell next to me. His whole body vibrated as he said those words. I allowed a smile to grow on my small lips as his arm grew tighter around my waist. I heard footsteps get quitter so I’m guessing they all left.

I walked to the double door wardrobe and picked out some clothes. Today I was going to wear a black sweater with the words ‘rock and roll’ in white and some black ripped skinny jeans. I decided I would wear my black heeled boots also. I turned around to Andy once I had gotten my clothes. He stared back at me, confused at first but then figured out that I wanted some privacy. I can’t deny that I looked at his boxer covered bottom when he walked out and Dayum!

I finished my hair, which was lightly curled, and moved onto eyeliner and mascara. I was done and ran downstairs with my packed school bag. Ashley and CC were sitting at the kitchen island when I walked in so I smiled at them, which caused smirks to arise on their pale faces. ‘What?’ I asked, walking towards the set of knives to cut my apple.

‘Just you and Andy…you know sharing a bed!’ CC spoke almost excitedly. I guess they were happy for Andy. I felt the heat as my cheeks turned a rosy pink colour. ‘Oooh she’s blushing!’

‘Jamie and Andy sitting in a tree’ they both began to chant. At first it was funny but as they carried on I began to grow tired of asking them to stop. I got angry and grabbed the knife on the counter and held it to Ashley’s throat. He looked at me terrified, my eyes went wide as I realised what I had done. I had just threatened my friend! I immediately dropped the knife to the floor and ran for my life. To the bathroom.

What have I done!? What kind of a monster am I? I could have killed him. My friend. Andy’s best friend. He’s gonna tell Andy isn’t he? What will Andy think? He will never want to see me again! A knife. Oh my god how can I be so stupid! A knock sounded at the unlocked bathroom door. I expected it to be Andy but Ashley’s face came into view.

I was leaning against the marble bath with my knees up to my chest and tears flowing down my horrified face. Ashley sat down next to me and we said nothing. After a long silence he pulled me into a hug where I broke down crying, repeating ‘I’m so sorry’ over and over.

After a while my sobs faded and Ashley somehow managed to get me onto his lap. He was slowly caressing my raven black hair. I turned to face him and positioned my legs so they were going around his waist, while we were still sitting on the stone cold floor. ‘Why are you here?’ I asked.

‘Because you’re my friend.’ he answered truthfully. I smiled at that but it slowly faded.

‘But I could have killed you. I held a knife to your throat!’ I argued. He shouldn’t be here comforting me he should be calling the police or getting some sort of restraining order on me. He suddenly pulled me into a hug and I couldn’t help but return it.

‘I don’t care what you do…I’ll always love you’ he smiled ‘in a friend way’ he added quickly.

‘Way to ruin a moment Purdy’ I looked down and carried on playing with his Silver Star necklace, I do that when I’m nervous. I fiddle with anything that’s nearest me.

‘Now come on. We have school!’ he stood up and dragged me up with him. We hugged before exiting the bathroom and making our way down stairs. I saw a plastic container on the kitchen island with a sticky note on it.

‘Don’t forget your apple! CC x’ how sweet is he! I grabbed the apple and made my way to Andy’s car. We set off and soon arrived at the place where dreams are crushed. I walked up to the gate before feeling a hand interlock with my own. I looked up at the mysterious figure and saw Andy smiling down at me. His smile soon vanished and a look of panic went on his face.

‘We’re together now aren’t we?’ I nodded and he smiled once more and kissed me on the lips. It was a long sweet kiss that contrasted with the fact that we were getting abuse shouted at us because apparently ‘Emo’s’ aren’t allowed to be happy, which means no kissing. But we didn’t care we just went toward the lockers of the school. First we went to Andy’s and finally mine. I didn’t realise it, but Andy had somehow managed to get a Polaroid camera, probably from his locker, and was now pointing it towards us. I smiled and the flash came and went, followed by a small square piece of paper. He grabbed one of my black magnets, which was holding up a reminder for homework, and put the picture in on the inside of my locker door. The homework reminder got shoved in the back of the locker along with other rubbish and the camera placed neatly on my pile of books. 

The bell rang signalling the start of school. I had social culture (R.E) and so did Andy. It was one of the few lessons we had together. When we walked  Andy went syraight toward the teacher leaving me to sit in my usual seat in the middle, no one else sat here because no one wanted to ‘catch my disease’. Andy usually sat next to Zoe but after speaking to the teacher about god knows what he came and sat next to me. I saw Zoë from the corner of my eye scowl at me. It was going to be a good day.

~~~

The picture on the side is what Jamie is wearing today ^-^

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