Door Fifteen

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

I paced back and forth in my room, biting on the sides of my nails. I was having an inner battle with myself, and I didn't know which side was winning. Thorin clamped down on my shoulder and pushed me into his chest.

"Calm down, you can do it. You're going to have to do it sooner or later."

I breathed in his cologne, actually liking the smell. I usually wasn't too keen on strong smells but this one had won me over.

"I can't, I can't." I repeated to him for the tenth time.

He now put both hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eyes. "You can and you will."

"But Thorin-" I couldn't find words anymore.

"Hey, it's not the end of the world. Just get it over with." He spoke softly.

"I don't want to see him though."

I was being completely stubborn with him, but what else could a panicking person do?

"I'm sure that Phoenix wants to see you too. He just doesn't have the guts to face you."

How come I didn't believe that? I almost let out a sigh, but held it in last second and pressed my lips together in a line. I sat on the bed and ran a hand through my hair.

"I promise that everything will be fine. Now get your butt out there."

I gave one last worried glance at Thorin as I left. Phoenix had stuck to his room the last few days, so that was where I was headed. My hands shook more rapidly the closer I got. I took a pause at the door, my hand just over the door knob.

I watched the door rattle and completely froze. Phoenix stood right in front of me, looking just as shocked as I was. His eyes were wide and his head turned back towards his room. Just as the door was about to slam in my face, I held up my hand.

"Wait!"

He stopped and froze again, his muscles tense. He was facing me again with a cautious expression. "I don't want to talk to you."

My mouth parted in surprise and no words would come out of my mouth. I licked my lips and held my breath, waiting for what he would say next. I obviously couldn't or wouldn't say anything.

"Just leave me alone, and don't come back here." His eyes narrowed at me before he slammed the door in my face.

I lowered my head in shame and felt like someone stomped on my chest. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. I stood tall and kept my chin up as I walked. I wasn't mad or upset, just empty. And it was the worst feeling in the world.

"What did I tell you, Thorin?" I threw my hands up, blinking back unshed tears and letting out uneven breaths.

I didn't care that he was my bodyguard, and that my problems had nothing to do with him. I didn't care that he probably didn't care himself. All I felt was emptiness that would never be filled.

"It will be okay," he rubbed my arms and let me lean onto his shoulder.

The tears flowed down my cheeks and silent sobs wracked my body. I couldn't stop them even if I tried. The feeling of overcoming my problems was gone. I told myself that this would be the last time I broke down in front of everyone.

I was going to show Phoenix that he didn't affect me, no matter how hard it was. I was starting to doubt that Scarlett had set him up. After he exploded on me, I wasn't so sure anymore.

"How about we get some Nutella and strawberries? How does that sound?"

I perked up a little, already imagining the taste of them both in my mouth. I couldn't help but nod. He held onto my hand when we walked down to the kitchen. I felt like a small child, but I couldn't care less.