Disremembered (Fourtris story)

Chapter 49: The New Rebels Group

Chapter 49: The New Rebels Group

*Tobias POV*

As the transport is in route to Providence I go over the instructions Matthew's contact gave us as we prepared to take over this mission. He felt confident that our IDs would not be checked, we just need to finish our assignment of getting the medical supplies to the hospital's emergency room. After that we should be free to search out Tris.

With the current Rebel Group activity there has been a sudden shortage of medical supplies, as Providence had been experiencing years of peace and didn't need a large reserve. The shipment that was sent to Providence earlier this week was hijacked; the supplies were originally sent with no security so they lost everything. Their hospital is in dire need.

Zeke told me he needed to take a short nap, he is tired. I know he has been working hard these last couple of days trying to get everything in order so we could set up Nita. I smile and promise him I will stay awake, he should take as long as he needs.

During the silence of the trip I keep going over different scenarios in my head of how my conversation with Tris may go down. Do I just blurt out that my memories are back? Should I first tell her about Nita and her mind control manipulations? I could just walk up, look in her eyes, and then kiss her. Kiss her the way that I always had. Would she recognize the real me then?

She would probably punch me in the face, she is pretty upset with me. That is probably not the best idea. My palms start sweating, my nerves are starting to rear their ugly head. I know I promised myself I would respect Tris's wishes. I am terrified that she will never be able to get past the way I have treated her.

It has just been a few hours since I got my memories back, although I can remember everything that has happened the last few months. I think about Tris. I still have not had time to process everything.

Tris is ALIVE. I close my eyes, remembering that day in the bureau morgue, the combination of pain and dullness I felt the moment I accepted she was actually dead. Her body lying on a table in the morgue, I wanted to believe she was just sleeping. I wanted to believe she would wake and kiss me.

And then I touched her.

That is when I knew she was dead. I could not believe it until that moment. Her body was cold, stiff...unyielding.

I tried, I feel like I really tried. I remember squeezing her hand, so tightly. Her cold hand. I wanted to believe that if I tried hard enough life would return to her and that she would flush with color and wake up. It didn't happen.

I think back to how I desperately needed more from Tris. One more of anything. I was frantic.

Damn it, why couldn't I tell that she was in fact still there?! If only I could have been smarter, demanded more tests, or even just stayed with her.

Could we have avoided all of this pain?

And now here I am, worried about the future. All these months, my girl has been right in front of me. Wanting me. Needing me. Crying for me. All the while I was not there for her, and even worse, the times I treated her poorly. I swallow through the large lump in my throat. I pray she can forgive me, I love her. I want to love her for the rest of my life. We can have that now.

The pilot announces that we will be landing in thirty minutes. I look over to Zeke, and he is rechecking his weapon. It reminds me of our days at Dauntless, which feels like a lifetime ago now. I checked my weapon two times already during the trip. I am hoping for no issues with this mission, I am anxious to talk to Tris.

"You ready to do this?" Zeke asks me.

I smile at him, "You know it. We just need to get through the mission, and then I will ask to speak to Luke. Once he knows we're actually here, there's no reason for him to not tell us how to get to his family home where Tris should be. Plus, since there is a new threat against her, the sooner we're with her, the better."