Disremembered (Fourtris story)

Chapter 42: Some Harsh Words

Chapter 42: Some Harsh Words

*Tris POV*

I hold Luke's hand as the transport is in route back the Bureau. I am terrified he is going to die. I can't lose another person, not now, not when we are so close to getting home. Especially not when he would die because he was saving Tobias and I.

I tremble thinking about Tobias, I know I am here with Luke who is in critical condition, but I just wish he had agreed to come back with us. I need to know he is ok. I close my eyes tightly and try to calm my emotions, I can't let my anxiety over power me right now. I need to be strong. I need to believe that Tobias will be safe.

"Penny for your thoughts Tris." Luke whispers. He is suddenly lucid, having been unconscious most of the trip home.

I am startled for a moment, but then I smile at him. "You are awake! How are you feeling?" I ask him softly, gently touching his forehead with my fingertips.

He coughs, "That was not an answer to my question. You were thinking about Tobias, weren't you?" He looks at me sadly for a moment, and then a look of understanding comes over his face. "Is he here?"

"Yes, I was thinking about him, worrying is more like it. Tobias stayed back in Chicago, to help the team." I say, trying to smile and look positive.

"I know you are still in love with him. All this time, and I have never actually seen you both interact together. When I saw you both at Dauntless, I knew right away. You both love each other, and you probably always will." Luke finishes as he starts gasping and coughing at the same time.

"Luke?!" I exclamation, while looking frantically at the medic on board. The medic reminds Luke that he needs rest, reserve his strength.

Luke smiles at me, he looks calm. My heart starts racing, and the reason is that I know he is right. I will always deeply love Tobias. After our time together in Dauntless – I was reminded that he is someone worth fighting for. A memory passes, something I said to him, our last night together.

"It's what you deserve to hear. That you're whole, that you're worth loving, that you're the best person I have ever known."

I close my eyes and smile, deep down Tobias is still all of those things. I can't lose him, not to Nita, not to anyone. I need to be honest with Luke, and I need to do it now.

I clear my throat to begin, "Luke, I do love you. I do. But..."

"Tris. Stop. It's ok. It really is. I already knew in that hallway. I knew that you loved me too, just not in the romantic way. If my almost dying while saving your life was not going to earn a passionate kiss from you, there would never be anything I could do to make you love me in that way. I knew it the moment you leaned over and kissed me on the forehead."

Luke pauses and smiles at me. "I am actually ok with it. I'm just glad we can move forward and be friends. I do love you, from the moment I met you I imagined that my sister would be just like you. Strong, brave, selfless...I know she would have been. I hope you can forgive me...I was angry with you, and I did feel betrayed. But that did not justify the moments I was cruel to you. I am deeply sorry Tris. I hope can forgive me-"

And suddenly Luke's eyes roll back in his head and the machines start beeping. The medic literally shoves me back while yelling that Luke is coding. I am horrified, tears stream down my face as I step back so they can work.

They manage to stabilize him as we arrive to the bureau. He is taken directly into surgery. I follow as long as they will let me. And suddenly I am met by his assistant Catalina, she throws her arms around me.