monachopsis (Sequel)

27. Him

"Bring yo bitch ass on." Keith said through gritted teeth as a still intoxicated Aubrey crept down the hallway shielding his eyes from the bright hospital lights. Dressed in a all black OVO sweat suit and UGG house shoes you'd think he'd been admitted into the hospital. The large bruise on his face and the pale hangover look he wore told a wild story on it's own.

Keith waited for him by Ramsey's room door with his own scratches that are sure to raise a brow.

"You go ahead and go first." Aubrey took the hood from his head and looked back at Chubbs. "Go ahead you wasting time." Aubrey took a deep breath before opening the heavy wood door slowly. Ramsey looked towards the door and her smile dropped.

Keith took his original spot on the couch waiting for someone to say something.

"You fellas showed up right on time." Marvin, Ramsey's father spoke kindly. Even with everything his daughter told him about the argument he held no ill feelings towards the father of his grandchildren. Marvin had given her enough words of wisdom to hopefully fuel her with a positive mindset and firm words to fight her own battle. His baby was grown now, he had to bite his tongue and let her handle this on her own.... Until Aubrey says something he doesn't like, then that's a problem he'd gladly handle. 

Aubrey sat in the farthest chair from Ramsey and focused on the bright screen in the dark room.

"Alright now that the gel is on, let's look at Ms. Raja." Penny pressed the scope gently on her lower half of her stomach and a black and white image of a large baby appeared.

"Wow." 40 said in amazement.

"She's gonna be a big girl." Veronica said with a wide smile.

Aubrey straightened up at the sight of the baby on the screen. "There's a good sounding heart beat, nice and strong, she's positioned beautifully, now all we gotta do is wait for you to get dilated to ten centimeters and we'll start getting her on out. Any questions?"

Ramsey raised her hand slightly. "How long will it take for me to get to ten centimeters?"

"For some woman minutes, others the last few centimeters take hours." She frowned. "But, you've only been in labor for five or six hours and you're already at seven. But I'll be back to check on you in thirty minutes to see how you're doing." Clara wiped the gel off her belly and disinfected the scope quickly before the pair walked out the room.

It got silent as the door closed.

"What happened to your face?" Ramsey asked finally looking at Keith. He smirked. "Why don't you ask your friend Aubrey." Ramsey couldn't even look in his direction.

Marvin stood up and kissed his daughter's warm forehead. "How about we give them some room. Breakfast is on me." Everyone rushed out the large room.

"You ain't gotta tell a nigga twice!" Keith yelled as he closed the door behind him.

Aubrey put his hands in his hoodie pockets and bounced his knee quickly. Ramsey looked out the window feeling the uncomfortable silence between them.

"I thought you weren't coming."

"Psstt... Well you thought wrong. I wasn't about to, but your so called "bestie" wouldn't "leave me alone." He slouched down in his chair feeling the exhausting toll the mixture of fighting and alcohol took on him.

"Aubrey your attitude really sucks. How about you save both of us the energy and just go. You obviously don't wanna be here, I can raise this baby on my own."

He rolled his eyes. "I didn't come up here for your independent woman speech. I really just want some answers to be honest."

Ramsey sat up and crossed her legs to get more comfortable.

"Questions about what-"

"Don't play dumb. I wanna know why you didn't let me see my son? Why did you think that shit was okay? Because y-you were mad at me? That's not a valid excuse!" He had suddenly come alive and that once drunken demeanor had changed.

They stared at each other for a long while before Ramsey laughed angrily.

"Our son! He was dead before I could even get to a hospital. There was a bullet hole in his chest that killed him on impact. There I said. That's the answer you wanted right?!" His face softened as Ramsey looked out the window again trying not to cry. "When they woke me up after the surgery they asked if I wanted to see him... They warned me before they brought him that it would be hard for me see him. I told them to bring him out anyway. They brought him in a little crib like they would any other baby." She wiped her running nose. "The nurse asked if I wanted to see him, I said "of course, leg me hold him." She paved him in my and and he looked asleep, he looked like I could just wrap him up and take him home, he was still warm. They had sewn the hole closed before they brought him out to me. I was fine, I was crying happy tears like everything. It hadn't hit me yet... He had your everything. His eyes are shaped like yours, his hair was jet black like yours, he even had your big ass head." Aubrey tried not to crank a smile. "He was so cute. They took a picture of him, it's at the hospital with his ashes, I wanted you to able to see him when I finally got the stomach to tell you... I was so wrapped up in how much he looked like you I forgot he was... I forgot he was dead in my arms. They asked me did I want to wait for a burial or just to go ahead and cremate him... I snapped. I was so hysterical they had to put me to sleep. When I woke up I just told them to cremate him. I couldn't bury him anywhere. What if I moved far away from where he was buried at? I couldn't leave him. All these thoughts ran through my head." She looked back at him with tears streaming down her face. "I lied to you... The truth is I didn't let you see him no because I was mad... I didn't want you to see him because I knew you wouldn't be able to handle it. It was so much going on I knew it would've been to much for you to see. It may seem selfish, it might have been selfish, but I was looking out for you Aubrey... I honestly was. I take full blame for what happened. You were right, your mom was right... It was my fault. I could've done more to save our baby, if I would've stayed home the baby would still be here. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you wanna leave and not come back I understand but just know I didn't mean to hurt you." Aubrey stood up and walked out the room quickly. "Aubrey I-" The sit slammed behind him. "I love you too much to do that."

She looked at her large belly and sighed. "Everything will be okay Raja. I won't ever let anything happen to you."

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