Monachopsis
n. the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach.
-lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you'd be...
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Amir
PC: https://www.instagram.com/mixedracebabiesig/
Merry Christmas!!! 😘 --------------------------
Third person
"Ramsey." Marvin said knocking on the door. Chubbs had called him since she had kicked everybody out her bedroom and locked herself in. Luckily she had put emergency contacts in Chubbs' and 40's phones incase her water broke around the two with no one else around. "It's your dad baby girl. Can you open the door for me?"
Ramsey looked out the floor to ceiling beside windown, looking at the beautiful view of Downtown New York and felt a sense of familiarity like she had been here before... Come to think of it, a year ago Ramsey found herself in the same position. Sitting on the edge of her bed in Toronto staring blankly out the window thinking of a million and one ways she could of prevented everything negative in her life from happening. Out of everything that has happened to her losing a child had to be the worst.
Ramsey could've also told Aubrey that she has their sons ashes stored away. They're at the hospital she was transferred to in Chicago. She hasn't had the guts to go pick them up yet. They can't legally throw them out but they make sure to leave her a voice-mail every now and then, reminding her that they have them safe and ready for pick up when she's ready. For the same reason she was stuck in one spot like this before, and stuck like this now, is the same reason she hasn't gone to pick up her son's ashes, and the same reason Aubrey left.
She still feels like it was her fault.
Ramsey always talked Aubrey down from the ledge when he blamed himself but she never did the same for herself, well he never did the same for her either. She just learned to come to terms with the guilt she faced.
"You've been in here for two days. What about the baby? Aren't you hungry?" Ramsey had a box full of bedside snacks, she wouldn't starve herself like the last time, especially when she was in charge of someone else's life too. She stood up from the bed and went to the door. "Ramsey I'm gonna sit outside this door until you come out. I'm not leaving until you do." She could see his shadow fade from the small opening at the bottom of the door. "I'm out here too Rammy." Amir's said as he stood next to Marvin the hallway.
There's no sense of staying in here. Aubrey said what he said... I hurt him... What else can I do but face the reality of what he said? I killed our baby and hid the fact I got to see him. I knew this would bite me in the ass someday but not this soon.
She opened the door slowly and Amir stood up and ran to her. "I missed you." He said looking up at her. That's it took was for her to be in full blown tears again. "Don't cry." Marvin stood up and wrapped his arms around her. "What's going on sweety?" Amir moved out the way and with his teddy bear in his arms, watching the two of them.
