Well Fuck

Part 15: Leave Me Be!

-One week later-

I haven't talked to anyone. For one thing, my phone is shattered and I haven't taken it anywhere to fix it yet. Also, it's been a while since I've felt this sort of heartbreak. I don't want to talk to anyone.
Kim has come over and most likely tried to call me a zillion times. I told her I wanted to be alone, it pissed her off but at least she knows I didn't go missing or something.

I sit on my couch hunched over my laptop and my sketchpad is open beside me. Pluto is curled up on the other side of me purring. Ever so often, I glance up at the movie I have playing while I work.
I've already got a client for my album designing position. His name is Angus, he is an English friend of mine. When he turned 20, he had already formed a really solid band called Phishsticks. They're pretty popular over there in Wales! This is a good way for me to start, the judgement won't be to harsh, hopefully.
I decided to put together several different designs I had in mind.
I am deep in thought when the buzz from the intercom breaks through my concentration.
I jolt and sit up looking at my door.
*sigh* It's probably Kim.
I carefully set my laptop on the couch and walk to the door. I hold the button down and speak with a strain in my voice.

"Yeah."

There's a pause and a slight hiss noise.

"J-bird, it's Chico. Can I come up?"

"Did Kim send you?"

"Surprisingly, no."

"Alright."

A not too long after I sit back down on my couch with my laptop, my door slowly opens. I see Chico's pinned up dreds as he peeks passed my door.

"Hey you."

I just acknowledge him with a gentle grin.
He quietly makes his way to the other side of my couch and and sits making sure he doesn't mess up what im doing.

"So what's up?"

I look up from my screen.

"I'm working on Angus's album designs."

He leans to peer at my screen. I am almost finished with the second one.

"That looks dope!"

"Thanks!"

"So, why haven't you been talking to anyone, J-bird?"

I absent-mindedly answer him:

"Phones broke."

"Ah, gotcha!"

There's a long awkward silence. I am too focused on my work to realize it. Chico decides to get my attention by gently grabbing my laptop, pulling it out from under my fingers. He sets it on the coffee table and turns to face me.

"J-bird, Dexter is leaving today."

I fluster at his statement and look down in somberly.

"Yeah, so?"

"So... you care, and you know you do. Don't even try to deny it! That's the sole reason why you've been hiding here, not talking to anyone. I know you, you wouldn't actually break your phone."

I almost hate that he knows me so well. I come back defensively:

"My phone is broken!"

Chico shakes his head.

"You were still hiding."

I look down again in sheer guilt this time.
I do care, too much actually.

"He's leaving, Chico. I can't do anything about it. He didn't care enough to tell me anything about this, why should I care enough to say goodbye?"

There's another pause.

"He does care, J-bird! He probably didn't tell you because he didn't wanna ruin the fun you guys were having. This is gonna sound really sappy, but I saw him look at you J. He's in love."

I feel the heat come to my cheeks as tears start to well up in my eyes.

"Plus, he's been blowing up my phone. I've been talking to him because he's trying to get to you. He's been panicking all week wondering why you haven't been answering him."

I look up at him as a tear trickles down my face.

"Yeah no, Kim didn't send me. He did."

I furrow my eyebrows in disillusion and shake my head.

"Why doesn't he just come himself? huh? why did he need to send you?"

"Because he doesn't wanna hurt you more than he already has. He feels like shit, J! He seriously never wanted any of this to happen."

I sit for a minute in my thoughts.

"So what? He wants me to go say goodbye to him?"

"Or just see you before he leaves at least."

More tears come and I get frustrated again.
I grab my laptop from the table, turn away from Chico, and try to focus again.

"No."

Chico sighs and puts his hand on my shoulder.

"J-bird, this is killing him."

I shrug off his hand and start to type something on my keyboard.

"Yeah, well, he should have thought of that before he decided to get involved with me."

He sits for a minute, watching me. Knowing that he isn't going to be able to convince me, he stands up and walks out with out a word.

After the door shuts behind him, I stop typing and face the silence in my apartment.
I put my hands over my face and begin to cry.