Whilst the boyfriends away

75.

It's another restless night for me, I'm waking up every hour, on the hour. I have too many thoughts flying around in my head to relax. I continued to toss and turn well into the early hours and eventually at four o'clock I gave up. Sitting up in bed I realised Aston is no longer laying beside me, I didn't notice him get up so maybe I have had some sleep after all.

I climbed out of bed in one of Aston's T-Shirts three sizes too big and stepped out on the landing to see if he's in the bathroom. It's pitch black and the only noise I can hear is Steve snoring in the room next door, Aston must be downstairs. I creeped down the stairs and wandered through the living room finding him sitting at the dining table with his head in his hands.

"Aston?" I whispered.

"Hey," he sniffed wiping his eyes and looking up at me. "What are you doing up?"

"I can't sleep, did I wake you?" I asked.

"No baby, I haven't been able to sleep myself."

I smiled weakly tiptoeing over. There's an empty wine glass directly in front of him so he must have been down here awhile, I picked it up and moved it to one side swirling the last drips of red liquid around the bottom.

"Here," he whispered moving his legs out from under the table.

I sat down onto his lap feeling his hands slide around my body to hold me comfortably, one on my back and one across my bare thighs. I held onto his shoulders kissing his temple gently.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he nodded with half a smile.

"You don't seem fine to me."

"I just came down for strong drink, I'd erm, offer you one but you know," he shrugged.

I nodded watching his eyes fixed to where a bump will soon be. I picked up his hand from my lap and moved it onto my stomach, placing my hand over his and holding it in place.

"Do you want a hot chocolate?" he asked.

"No, thank you."

He pulled away suddenly moving his hand back over my legs, grazing his thumb over a scar I've had on my knee since primary school. He's now confirmed what's wrong, under all the happiness and celebrations of having a baby he's having doubts about who the baby's father is just like me.

"Aston, I'm sorry," I murmured.

He can't even look at me in the eye.

"If I could change the situation I would, but I can't," I continued.

"Don't worry about it," he replied.

I sighed. I don't want this pregnancy to cause friction between us, it's supposed to be asset to the relationship. I wrapped my arms back around his neck and laid my head against his, this is going to be a lot tougher than I first thought.

"Aston, we need to talk about this."

"Sorry," he mumbled. "It's just, well we've spent the last two weeks trying to convince ourselves that now isn't the time to have a baby. I told you everything happens for a reason and that Charlie is probably the father, so now, well you know what," he sighed.

"I know, I do understand. I've been thinking about it too."

"It angers me how he's still involved."

"I'm eight weeks so it wasn't that slip up with Charlie like we thought."

"No but we'd barely started eight weeks ago had we."