Chapter 41 Iced Frown

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                It got too cold; I got awake because it got too chilly. When I regained consciousness, I realized Alex and I were hugging when we fell asleep. I took some time to fully get awake, but when I did, I panicked. I backed away immediately. I feared that Alex might wake up and freak out with what he did with me. I went back and fell down the floor. I was alarmed that I might wake Alex up. I went up and realized I was naked. It was ten o’clock in the morning, and mom was probably looking for me. I went fast and grabbed my underwear and wore it. I rushed to get my dress so Alex wouldn’t see me. I feared his reaction to our sex would be bad. I wore my heels so I could proceed to leave. It seemed like I didn’t wake him with what I did. I planned to get out and opened the door, but when I realized that it was terribly cold, I went back to Alex’s bedroom. He was still deeply asleep, and I touched him. He was cold, so I grabbed his jacket and blanket and covered his body. Then, I left. I went in the car and grabbed my purse on the back seats. When I had a check on my phone, it had seven missed calls and four new messages, all from mom. I realized she was looking for me, so I drove as fast as I could home. I dialed mom’s number and called her back.

                “Liyah.” She answered. “Sweetie, where are you? I was worried sick about you.”

                “Sorry, mom.” I drove with one hand, the other on the phone. “My friend had an emergency, so I decided to sleep there because of the bad weather.”

                “Are you headed home now?”

                “Yeah.” I yawned. “I’m sorry you got worried.

                “It’s okay. Just get home safely. I love you, darling.”

                “I love you, too.” I hung up.

                When I got home, I realized Nick was scouting outside. He was on his winter clothes, but it wasn’t snowing anymore, so it was probably bearable. I walked out to him after I parked. Of course, I wasn’t mad at him anymore. The night with Alex washed all my worries away.

                “Where have you been?” he asked, and I stopped to him. “Your mom called me. She was worried.”

                “Just a little emergency… I called mom already, so she’s okay now.” I said and walked past him.

                “Wait, wait, Liyah.” He stopped me, and I did. “Where were you really at? Why is your lipstick smudged?”

                “It is?” I forgot to check on the mirror because I was a little occupied.

                “And you smell like alcohol.” He added.

                “Look, Nick.” I took a step to him. “I’m not trying to be rude, but I can take care of myself. I told you, I don’t need help. I can take care of myself.”

                “You still haven’t told me where you’ve been.”

                “I don’t need to.” I said and walked away, but he kept walking after me.

                “You slept with Sander, didn’t you?” he said, and I stopped walking. “Harvey told me you picked him up last night.”

                I slowly turned around to him and gave him an annoyed face. It kinda’ pissed me off. He was really nosey to something personal to me. “Even if I did, it cannot be any less of your business.”

                “Why are you being like that to me, Liyah?” he sounded really concerned, and it just pissed me off. I didn’t need his concern. I didn’t need him, bothering my intentions with Alex. “Look, I’m sorry about what I did last night at the dance, but I’m just here for you as a friend.”

                “I’m not angry about that.” I cleared. “I just really hate it when you meddle with my decisions here and there. I told you, I don’t need your help. I want to do this on my own.”

                “I’m just looking out for you. I’m your friend. With what you’re doing, I don’t really think it’s a good thing for you to continue doing that.”

                “What is? Sleeping with Alex?” I wanted to bump it all to his thick skull. “What is so wrong with that? Laura does it to other guys all the time.”

                “But I don’t want you to be like that.” He said, and all the tensions between us stopped. Suddenly, I felt calm. All I wanted to do was drive him away. “I’m doing this because I’m your friend.”

                “Are you really sure about that Nick?” I just wanted to be honest with him. I took steps to him, and I just wanted to tell him everything. “Are you sure you’re not doing this because you still feel something for me? I’m really sorry if you do. I know you’re a good friend, but things cannot be the same to us again. I’m not in love with you. I never was. It’s actually the first time that I can tell that I’m in love… and it’s with Alex. I hope you get that.”

                “Liyah.” That’s the only thing he could say before I saw tears slide down his face. I was probably right. Nick was probably still in love with me, and it’s not like I could do anything about it. If it’s the same with how I felt with Alex, then I really can’t do anything about it. He continued, “If that’s it, then I’m really sorry. I’m sorry I’ve been an interruption to you and Sander. I’d wish you best of luck.”

                “Thank you.” I said and started to walk again.

                “Liyah.” He spoke , and that got me to stop walking away again. I turned to see what he was saying. “But don’t say that nobody loves you when Sander says he doesn’t… ‘coz I’ll always be here to say I do.”

                “You don’t need to, Nick.” I walked again.

                I didn’t want to tell him that Alex was drunk. In a way, I wanted him to think that he had no chance with me since Alex and I already made out, so he wouldn’t get in the way. I know it sounded selfish, but it’s just how things went. It’s not that I wanted Nick to feel like that. There’s just life and its challenges. I left Nick outside, and he just stayed there for minutes, looking down and depressed.

                Apparently, mom had left for work, so she didn’t hear anything Nick and I spoke of. I just stared at our frosted windows and saw Nick, looking despaired. All I could do was feel sorry for him. There really wasn’t anything I could do. It wasn’t like I was able to alter my feeling for Alex, but I didn’t want that. I didn’t want my feelings for Alex to change. He made me feel that way, and he made me really happy. But because I’m happy, someone else gets hurt. I didn’t want that. It’s not that I regret meeting Nick. It’s just that I regret making him feel that way. It was all my fault anyway. If only I didn’t accept him as my boyfriend before, he probably wouldn’t feel like that. But I’ve got to be thankful to Nick. It was him who wanted me to go to Neptune High with him. I probably wouldn’t go if he didn’t encourage me, and if I didn’t go to Neptune High, I wouldn’t have met Alex, and it would’ve been an empty life for me, so I was really grateful of everything I had. They all made me who I am.

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