A Love/Hate Thing (Complete)

Chapter 13

I didn't go to school today, but I heard they had a dedication to Eric. China asked me to come, but right now I can't handle it. The last things I said to Eric have been replaying in my head the past 2 days. The way everything ended was all wrong. I wish I could go back and redo everything. But sadly, there isn't anyway that I can do that.

I've been helping Ms. Dunn with the funeral, and helping her get her mind off things. She asked me to speak at Eric's funeral. At first I declined, but then she told me how much Eric use to talk about me. Eric told his mom I was special, that it was something different about me. Ms. Dunn told me "If anybody should speak at Eric's funeral it should be you."

So yes, I'm currently working on what I'm going to say.

Of all the things I've said to Eric, and what I can say about him, I have writer's block. Dammit! I'm so frustrated, mad, sad... I'm a train reck! Maybe a shower will get my creative juices flowing.

I got out the shower and I was still drawing a blank. I looked at the clock and it was 1 A.M. Maybe everything will seem clear in the morning.

~

"Eric I'm so sorry."

"Sade it's okay!"

"No it's not, I shouldn't have cheated on you. I only love you!"

"Sade I promise it's okay. I will still love you no matter what. I set you free." Eric says wiping a tear from my cheek.

"I love you Eric Dunn."

"I love you too Sade Brown." Eric kisses my forehead and disappears in thin air.

I popped up "Eric?", there was no response. I looked at the clock and it was 8 A.M. I got up to get ready for the 10 A.M. service.

I got out the shower, and put on my long, black maxi skirt, a black, loose fit short sleeve black shirt, and black pumps. I sat down at my desk to write the speech... I still had nothing. I looked at the clock and it was 9:15. I had to go.

When I got to the church I saw all Eric's closest family and friends. I felt out of place, but I knew I was doing the right thing, and Eric would want me to be here.

I sat in the front with his mom, dad, and sister. Ms. Dunn was staying strong for her daughter Chanel. The pastor announced "One of Eric's close friends, Sade Brown, would like to say a few words."

I walked up slowly thinking of what I was going to say. I got up there and took a deep breath. Suddenly everything was clear.

"Eric was a good athlete. And an even better friend. Eric could play hard and mean and aggressive all day, but was a softy when it came to the people he loved." I smiled. "Basketball wasn't just a sport for him, it was a way of life. Besides basketball, Eric loved his family. He was a family man, spent every Wednesday in with his family for Family Game Night. Helped his sister with homework, and helped his mom with cleaning. I think we all can agree he was family oriented. When it came to friends he always had time for them. He could fight and argue with his friends but he still had their backs at the end of the day." I started to tear up. "That why I loved Eric, he could never hold a grudge." I paused. "Well that's not the only reason. He had a smile and personality that could light up a room. He was so sweet and kind and caring. And I think that's why we all loved him." tears rolled down my cheek. "I'm so happy that I got the chance to talk about how great of a person Eric Dunn was because he was truly great. And he will be greatly missed. We love you Eric. Thank you."

I walked back to my seat where Ms. Dunn was with open arms. I hugged her and she whispered "That was beautiful." I nodded thank you. When I sat down everyone was still clapping.

The service was soon over. I got in my car and drove to school. Eric's burial wasn't until after school, so everybody could come. I changed into a blue shirt, and blue TOMS.

When I walked into school and got to my locker Chris was there. I said "Hey Chris." in a low voice. He hugged me "Hey Sae. How you holding up?" I cleared my throat "Pretty good. After school you wanna go to Eric's burial with me?" He rubbed my back "Yeah."

When all my friends saw me there they all ran to hug me. They haven't seen me since Jamie's party, and most of them I haven't talked to since then either. Jamie asked "How are you?" I shrugged "Okay."

Most of my friends just asked how I was doing today, there wasn't any more conversation other than that. After school we dropped Chris' car off at my house, and he drove my car to the burial.

When we got there China and her "guy friend" Brandon were there. If I wasn't so depressed I would of asked her about it. They passed out red roses for us to put on his casket. When it was my turn to go up, I went up to the casket and had a quick flashback of my dream. I put the rose on the casket, and whisper "I love you Eric."

I started crying. Dang! Why can't I just run out of tears? Chris hugged me "It's okay Sae. Every will get better." I nodded with my head still in his shoulder. Chris was really good at comforting me. I hugged Chris "Thank you."

We walked back to the car, I got in the passenger side. I looked in the mirror and wiped the makeup I had running. Then I looked at Chris' shirt. I smiled "Oops." He was confused "What?" I pointed to the stain.

"Oh it's all good."

"You sure? I can wash it for you."

He laughed "I said it's all good!"

"Ok."

~

When I got home I started the washer.

"Pass me your shirt."

"Why?"

"I'm gonna put it in the washer."

"You don't take no for an answer huh?"

"Just pass me the shirt Chris! Stop being so damn difficult."

He through his hands up in surrender "Okay."

When he took his shirt off. My mouth dropped. His muscles were so... muscley. His body was gorgeous.

"You like what you see?" he laughed.

I felt myself blush a little.

"It's okay Sade. But you got a shirt to put on in the mean time?"

I looked threw my stuff and found one of Eric's old t-shirts. I passed it to him.

"Is this his shirt?"

I nodded.

"You sure about this shirt? I don't have to put it on."

"It's fine. Chris. Please. Just put it on."

He smiled "Are you sure? I know how much you like all this.", he rubbed his abs.

I laughed and threw a pillow at him. When he threw the pillow back, it was on! We were having a full blown pillow fight!

I plopped on my bed and so did Chris. I giggled "That was fun." He nodded "mmhm". I flicked his forehead and laughed "You play too much!" He managed to grab both of my hands and pulled me closer. "You gon' stop hittin' me like I'm a bitch." he said playing serious. I decided to act scared, I mumbled "Ok."

I got up to put his shirt in the dryer.

"And Sade."

I turned around "Yes?"

"I'm sorry for being a complete ass."

"It's okay Chris. I'm sorry for bitching out on you."