Loss, goodbyes, and moving on

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"All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
'Cause if I could see your face once more I could die a happy man I'm sure

When you said your last goodbye
I died a little bit inside
I lay in tears in bed all night
Alone without you by my side

But If you loved me
Why'd you leave me?
Take my body
Take my body
All I want is
And all I need is
To find somebody
I'll find somebody like you

Oooohhhh ohhh

So you brought out the best of me
A part of me I'd never seen
You took my soul and wiped it clean
Our love was made for movie screens

But If you loved me
Why'd you leave me?
Take my body
Take my body
All I want is
And all I need is
To find somebody
I'll find somebody

Ooooohhhhhh

If you loved me
Why'd you leave me?
Take my body
Take my body
All I want is
All I need is
To find somebody
I'll find somebody like you"~ All I Want, The Fault In Our Stars

Hours passed by in anxious silence as six boys, two families, and a CEO awaited the outcome of their beloved Taehyung. Finally late into the night Taehyung's Doctor emerged through double doors, awaking the few people who'd dozed off. Mr. And Mrs. Kim rushed up to the doctor, murmuring indistinctly before the doctor disappeared back through the doors. Taehyung's mother covered her mouth in a weak attempt to muffle a sob before her husband pulled her into a comforting embrace. Hoseok's eyes instantly widened, jumping to his feet "w-why are you crying? What did the doctor say?!" Namjoon reached up to grip the dancers arm, calming him instantly "Hobi calm down. Don't make this any harder on the Kims" Hoseok nodded, sighing heavily before calmly asking the dreaded question "is he okay?" Ms. Kim pulled away from her husband to quickly pull Hoseok into her arms mumbling "he didn't make it. My baby didn't make it.." Hoseok hugged the older woman tightly, a sharp pain tugging at his chest as tears clouded his vision. The pain was unbearable. It felt as if his heart was being ripped apart, and his head pounded from lack of oxygen as he crumbled into a sobbing mess. His sweet, wonderfully childish angel named Taehyung was gone. The love of his life had faded away from his grasp like whisks of smoke like he'd feared.

Hoseok couldn't register anything happening around him, only focusing on holding onto Ms. Kim for dear life. Had he been paying attention, he would've noticed that his mother was hugging both him, and Taehyung's mother. He would have also noticed, that everyone was sniffling. Jin and Namjoon were standing off to the side as the eldest sobbed into the leaders shoulder. Jungkook and Jimin were holding hands, sniffling from their seats until Yoongi knelt in front of them and rested a hand on each of their shoulders. The two younger boys both leaned forward to hug the rapper, and he sighed, refusing to let any tears out in front of them. He had to be strong for the two. Hoseok's sister was seated beside her father, head on his shoulder crying softly while Mr. Kim wiped his eyes and walked off. Bang PD nim stood calmly, gesturing for his assistants to get the car ready, and once they'd left the room he wiped his tears away discreetly. He turned to glance at Namjoon with a frown before walking over to the eldest member and leader, who parted once he'd walked up and the CEO spoke quietly "Taehyung told me something right before he went in for surgery. He said he hid letters for all of you under your mattresses, and he asked me to tell you if the worst happened.." Namjoon nodded, Jin vacantly acknowledging the CEOs words before Bang patted Namjoon's shoulder "tell Taehyung's parents that he wrote a will. It's under his pillow in his room" Namjoon nodded "I'll make sure they know" and with that, the CEO walked away.

Hoseok finally pulled away after several agonizing minutes, desperately wiping at his eyes and sniffling. His mother rubbed his back soothingly, sighing "come on honey, why don't you come back home with us?" Hoseok tiredly nodded, allowing himself to be led back to his seat while his parents talked with the Kims. He couldn't think straight, all that ran through his mind were the moments he shared with Taehyung during their short relationship. Suddenly guilt washed over him. He should've told Taehyung his feelings long ago, then they would've had more time... His right hand repeatedly stroked his wedding band, heart aching at the mere thought taking it off. More tears pricked at his eyes, and he glanced to his right to see his sister staring at him with tears streaming down her cheeks "Hobi..." His lips trembled from another wave of emotions, and both siblings stood in a flash to hug one another. Hoseok held onto his sister tightly, sobbing into her shoulder while staring behind her. Just over her shoulder he could see a little bald headed boy smiling and talking to his parents over obviously good news. His heart clenched, unable to accept the fact that he would never see Taehyung again. His lover would no longer be there to hug him, kiss him, comfort him or tease him, he'd never hear the younger's soothing deep voice mutter "I love you" in the dead of night, he'd never see his smile again or hear his laugh, they'd never get to be married or have kids and a house, and he'd never be able to cheer Taehyung up. And somehow, Taehyung was happy with the amount of time he'd been given. Hoseok couldn't figure out how he so easily accepted death. Out of all the billions of people in the world this had to happen to them, and Taehyung was okay with it?!! Hoseok shut his eyes, forcing himself to calm down. He didn't want to blame Taehyung, it wasn't his fault. He merely had the bravery to accept his fate and savor the time he had.

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