Wait

I hate you, but i'll always love you

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once"

(Warning: self harm mentioned)

A few days passed by achingly slow, each passing hour stole yet another fragment of Taehyung's hope. Of course he knew Hoseok would hate him, but hearing the actual words stabbed him painfully in the chest. Hoseok, the sweetest, kindest, most forgiving person he'd ever met in his short life, hated him. Why wouldn't he hate Taehyung though? He'd treated all of his friends terribly and lied to them all, they all had the right to hate him. So why did it hurt so much? All of the unanswered questions were driving Taehyung mad. He'd never get the answers he so desperately wanted.

He reached up to run a hand over his shaven head, a habit he'd been in back when he had hair, sighing. Just as he allowed his eyes to flutter closed for a moment of peace, his bedroom door opened enough to reveal his mother "Taehyung, do you want anything?" A wave of guilt washed over him, and he quickly shook his head "no I'm ok" The irony in his own statement shocked him for a moment, as his mother opened her mouth to add something. But just as she did, the door bell rang down stairs "oh shoot. I'll be right back honey" then she rushed back downstairs to answer the door.

Moments after his mother left the room, guilt ate away at him 'she shouldn't have to take care of me, I can do it. I know, I'll go get myself a glass of water' he thought proudly, hanging his legs off of the edge of the bed and slowly standing. He hadn't walked downstairs without help in a long time, and despite his weak legs, he managed to successfully leave his room. As he stood at the top of the staircase however, fear and doubt crept in. What if he fell? That would only make his mother worry even more but after a few moments he decided to risk it.

The first step was the worst of it, both hands gripping the handrail as he carefully allowed his weight to shift and after gently maneuvering his way down the steps, he grinned in triumph. Then within a few minutes he was standing in the kitchen with a glass of water. But as he took another sip, a sharp stabbing pain hit him in the gut.

His eyes widened, dropping the glass with a loud shatter and he shouted "mom!" Loudly as his legs trembled and he fell forward on his hands and knees, shattered glass digging in. Tears fell from his eyes and he froze in place, sobbing and calling for his mother. In a flash she had pulled him into a hug, holding his head to her chest while frantically inspecting his palms "Taehyung how did you get down here??" He pulled away, sobbing as he cried out "I wanted to do something for myself, but I can't even get a glass of water without getting hurt!!" She pulled him back, rocking back and forth "shh it's ok, it's all gonna be ok Taehyung.." Realization hit him, and he shouted "I want Hoseok! I want him here with me, I need him mom!" In an instant, she'd pulled away and stepped aside. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to force the tears away but he'd opened the flood gates.

Suddenly he was pulled into another embrace, it wasn't his mother for sure but Taehyung didn't recognize the stranger until he spoke "I'm here Tae.. I'm here" his eyes widened in recognition, and he instantly wrapped his arms around Hoseok's torso as another sob escaped from him.

[Hoseok POV]

Hoseok had been locked in his room ever since he'd left Taehyung the angry drunken voicemail. But when he finally emerged to get a bottle of water, he was surprised to see the other members gathered in the dining room, staring at him expectantly. Jin stood up, carefully addressing the dancer "Yoongi said he's got something to tell us all, I was about to come get you.." Hoseok grabbed a bottle of water, ignoring the oldest as he turned to go back to his room until Yoongi said "it's about Taehyung" then, he froze in place. Thoughts ran through his head as he attempted to process the information. Yoongi knew something about Taehyung that he didn't? Glaring, he turned around to face Yoongi "what?"