Crashing into new waves - a Wesley Stromberg/Emblem3 fanfic

Chapter 36 - Facing the music

Melina POV

"Shhh, it's okay. Just let it all out, let it out." Mike comforts, his arms are snaked around my trembling body. I tighten my grip on him and follow his advice, allowing heartbreaking cries leave my body. His warm hand is rubbing my back, trying to soothe me but it doesn't help, my heart is broken and it hurts. It hurts so bad.

I lost my baby.

A baby I didn't even know existed.

And Wes, the person I've come to trust the most. He has been lying to me. And he made others hide the truth from me! He stared me in the eyes, said he loved me and cared for me but all this time he knew I was carrying his child and lost it. How could he do that to me? To me?!

My thoughts aren't helping me to calm down, I've been crying in Mike's flat for the past hour. After I left Wes' flat, I ran as far as my feet carried me. I was in a park when my knees finally gave in and I fell on the ground. During my run I had used all my anger in my movement and when I was on the grass, all the anger was gone and I started to realize what the newly found information meant in reality. The memory gives me a new wave of crushing sadness.

*Flashback*

I slowly move my hands to my stomach and an unfamiliar emptiness hits me. I never thought about having kids anytime soon but inside of me, there was a life growing, my own flesh and blood, my baby.

I lost that life, that little bump. I struggle to breathe when I feel my heart shattering into pieces.

It's my fault.

-Next day-

"Did you sleep okay?" Mike asks when I sit next to him on the couch. I lean my head on his shoulder and he doesn't hesitate wrapping his hands around me. "More or less." I reply tiredly and close my eyes.

After a moment of silence I can feel Mike's body stiffen slightly. "Lina, I called Wes last night." I immediately pull apart, feeling my defenses building back up. Why would he do that?!

Mike sighs and places his hands on my shoulders. "Just listen before you get upset. You turned your phone off and I knew he must be going out of his mind not knowing where you were. So when you fell asleep, I let him know you were okay."

I relax slightly, at least he didn't ask him to come here but I can feel there's something more on his mind. "And?"

He smiles a little. "And I know you don't want to see Wes right now but maybe you should call him?" 

"No." I response more harshly than I should've.

The clear worry in his eyes almost brings back tears in my eyes, the tears I ran out of last night. Mike's been looking at me with so much sympathy ever since yesterday. I told him everything after he brought me to his flat, I called him to pick me up from the park. His support has been unbelievable, he held me the whole day and let me grief for my lost. At the moment I'm not sure what I'm feeling about everything, I'm just exhausted. So much has happened, but I'm tired of being sad, angry and depressed. I'm just sick of bad things happening to me, some kind numbness has taken over. But somewhere deep inside, I know eventually things will get better.

But Mike should know that I don't want to see Wes right now. He broke my trust, a thing I didn't imagine could happen.

"You need him Lina. He knows what you are going through right now with your lost and... I'm worried that if you have a panic attack, I won't be able to help. Wes is the only who can." Mike pleads with so much concern in his voice.