The Cop Who Loves Me...A Teenager

chapter 4

I stood there, wearing a plain black dress with a black cardigan, in front of 3 coffins.  Brody, wearing a black suit and tie, stood to the right of me with his head bent down and hands together ,like everyone else, while the priest said a prayer. I just stared ahead of me not able to appreciate God at that point.  I questioned whether there was even a god.  If there was, why would he take my only family away from me? But maybe it was his plan for me and my family.  But why would his plan be so cruel.  My family did nothing wrong.  We went to church occasionally and stayed out of trouble. We were a good christian family. I didn't do anything to deserve this.

 Everyone was huddled under the tent to avoid getting drenched in rain.  It was like the entire world was crying.  The rain definitely fit every ones mood.  The priest finished the prayer and everyone raised there heads.  Some people were looking at me with a sorrowful look. Others were crying on another's shoulder, majorly effected by the deaths.  Some just stared at the coffins, not able to grasp the fact they were gone.  I, on the other hand, ran out of tears to cry.  I would stare at the coffins, then look at the people around me, and then at Brody.  Brody kept staring at me to make sure I was alright.  I had finally come to terms with my family's death.  But I had not come to terms with god.  Maybe I'll understand why he took them away from me someday, but today was not the day.

I leaned into Brody, not able to stand on my own any longer.  Evenn though I accepted the deaths of my family, I was still upset.  Brody pulled me into a hug.  A single tear ran down my face as I looked back at the coffins that were now being lowered into the ground.  People threw white roses in, paying their respects.  I threw the last rose in and said my final goodbyes.  I walked away with Brody, arm in arm, to his car.  He opened the door for me, but before I got in, I looked up at the hill where my mother, father, and sister were now resting forever.  I sat down and Brody closed the door. I whispered towards their graves and their spirits, "I'll always remember you guys"

Then Brody got in beside me and we drove away from the cemetery. I looked in the mirror, watching the cemetery get smaller and smaller, until it disappeared.

"Are you ok, Autumn?" Brody asked breaking the silence.

"Yeah.  Thank you for doing all this.  It was really a beautiful funeral."  During the funeral, he had the church decorated in red and black.  MY family all had the same favorite color which was red.  He also had red roses put everywhere and had a piano player and a choir.  My parents and my sister were buried in the best spot in the cemetery too.

He gave me a small smile. "Are you sure you're ready to go back into your house?  You don't have to if you din't want to.  I understand how a lot of people telling you they're sorry for your loss can be a little irrating."

"No, I want to go. I mean, I don't feel like being around people, but I need to pack my things and maybe go through my family's things."

"Alright. Do you want help packing?" Heasked.

"Yeah, That'd be great."

We pulled up to my house.  About a hundred cars were already parked on the street and people were waiting for me outside to unlock the house.  Brody had prepared everything inside...the 'food, the chairs, pictures...things like that.  I got out of the car and walked up the pathway to the front door. People were patting me on the shoulder and hugging me as I made my way through the crowd.  I finally got up to the door and unlocked I held the door open for eveyone, thanking them for coming.  Brody never left my side.  He was a sweet guy.  I hadn't really gotten to know him over the past few days because he was either working or preparing for the funeral. 

Everyone was finally inside and I closed the door.  One of my dad's best friends clanked a glass to get everyone's attention.  His name was Mark.

"Attention everyone!! I'd like to say a few words about the Reynolds.  My best friend, John, was an amazing man,  He was a good friend and was always there me.  He was the kindest man you could ever meet and he had and amazing family to match.  His wife, Mary...beautiful, gorgeous.  She had a wonderful optimistic personality.  She made the best out of eveything.  She could turn a rainy day into a wonderful day...Sort of like today, but she's not here to raise our spirits from sadness.  However, I know she wouldn't want us to dwell on the loss.  She'd want us to move on with our lives, as would John.   And there wonderful daughter, Cindy.  Sweetest girl you could imagine.  She made friends with everyone she met and at Christmas, instead of opening presents, she would be down at the homeless shelter serving breakfast and giving less fortunate people presents.  They will me dearly missed."  Mark started crying but held the tears back long enough to finish his speech.  "And Autumn.  Thank god you weren't in that car. Your family will live on through you.  You possess all the qualities of them combined and you are the mirror image of your mother when she was your age.  We all love you Autumn, and we'll be there for you always."

Everyone clapped and cheered.  I ran to give Mark a hug. He was now actually crying.  "Thank you Mark.  That speech means a lot."

"If you ever need anything, Autumn, anything at all, I'll be there for you."

We pulled out of the hug. and someone else pulled me into a hug.  It was my mother's best friend Lisa.  "Oh sweety,  I'm so sorry. You parents and Cindy were great people.  I'm just glad you weren't in that car. I don't think I could bare losing all of you."

I started crying and pulled away from her and ran upstairs.  Everyone got quiet and  their eyes watched me run upstairs. I ran into my old room and locked the door.  I slid down against the door to the floor. Why wasn't I in that car with them? I was being a lazy teenager, that's why.  I didnt want to go to the grocery store with them.  They were just going to get food for the week.  They were supposed to be back in an hour.  An hour turned into never.  They were never coming back. They were dead. I would've been dead too  if I went with them.  Maybe I wouldn't be here suffering.  But I know they're watching over me.  I think they were happy I wasn't in that car with them. But why did they have to die?!?! I need them!  I miss them so much.

My thoughts were interrupted with a knock at the door. "Autumn? Please open the door." Brody said gently. I didn't move. He jiggled the handle. "Autumn, please let me in."  I slowly got up, unlocked the door, and opened itf slightly. There stood a worried Brody.  I opened the door all the way and let him in.  I walked over to the bed and just laid face down with my face burried into a pillow.  Brody followed me and sat down next to me, rubbing my back.  "It's gona be alright Autumn, you'll see."

"I should've been in that car with them, Brody." I cried.

"Don't talk like that.  It's good you weren't in that car, otherwise we would've never met."

"They were just going to the store. They were supposed to be back in an hour." I said sobbing my thoughts out loud,

"Shhhh...It was their time to go, Autumn."

"But why?! Why did they have to leave me?!"

"It was God's decision.  He has everyone's life planned.  And he planned for their lives to end too soon.  But Autumn, make your family proud and live life to the fullest.  They wouldn't want you to grieve for the rest of your life."

I sat myself up and faced Brody. "You're right.  I'm so thankful I met you Brody. I don't think I could get through this without you."

"Autumn, if anything, I should be thankful for meeting you.  You're the sweetest, most beautiful girl I've ever met."  Then out faces were only inches apart.  He stared deep into me hazel eyes, as I stared into his ocean blue eyes.  He slowly leaned towards me until our lips met.  His lips were warm and soft.  As soon as our lis touched, it was like nothing else mattered. I had forgotten about everything in those few seconds.  We pulled away from eachother, maintaining the close distance between us.  He took a deep breath and said "Ummm...yeah so maybe we should start packing your things."  He moved away, creating more distance and stood up to open my closet.  "So, you start packing your clothes and I'll find some boxes to put your other things in."

He walked out of the room and I heard his footsteps go downstairs.  What just happened?