TOO GOOD ━ SUGG. ✓

chapter nineteen

"Alyssa, wake up," a voice said. My eyes flew open and I looked up only to see Joe standing over me in all his glory.

"What are you doing here?" I asked carefully, as I was hit with the realization that I looked like complete and utter crap.

"I came to wake you," he whispered.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Zoë and Alfie are still sleeping."

"What time is it, Joe?"

"It's quarter past seven."

"Why the hell are you awake?" I asked, he looked at me quickly, our eyes locking long enough that I could see the dark circles under his eyes, as if he didn't get any sleep at all.

"Joe, is something wrong?" I said as I got up, brushing past him. I closed the door as he turned to face me again and shook his head once before he sat down on my bed and closed his eyes, a shaky breath erupting from his lips. I opened my mouth to speak, but shut it quickly and sat down on the edge of my bed beside him. He glanced at me quickly, before he turned away from me to look at the window.

"I know that something's bothering you. I hope you know that can tell me what it is."

"There's nothing wrong."

"Don't shut me out, Joe."

"I'm not shutting you out. I just-" he stopped before he could say anything else.

"You just what?"

"I just don't know how to explain something."

"What is it, Joe?"

"It doesn't really matter, Alyssa."

"Of course it matters," I whispered as he finally turned to face me again.

"Just forget I said anything," he said quickly as he jumped up from the bed and opened the door that led to the hallway. I heard the sound of his footsteps going down the stairs before I got up and let out a frustrated sigh. It's a strange feeling when you know that someone you care about, is hurting inside. All you can think about is how it would feel if you put yourself in their shoes, then you slowly try to decipher what the hell is going on with them and one by one the pieces slowly fall together.

That's exactly how I was feeling in this moment, expect this was a complicated puzzle and I didn't know where to start. Yesterday he was fine, everything was okay and then today suddenly he's not and I couldn't help but wonder what changed. What happened to him last night?

JOE SUGG'S POV
I was being paranoid.

Ever since last night when I admitted to myself and to her sleeping state that I wanted her to be mine, I've been paranoid ever since. I wasn't able to get any sleep as my thoughts tormented me about all the millions of ways that my three words to her could make everything go wrong. Then as soon as I walked into her room to tell her my feelings, the fear came back, and now Alyssa probably thinks that something's wrong with me internally. Something I'm not telling her.

I remember that asking out girls used to be so easy. Just a simple 'do you want to get a coffee later?' would suffice and then I would be going out with that girl on the weekend. Then Alyssa Deyes walked into my life and everything got so complicated. Now here I am, scared shitless and unable to ask her a simple question.