The Spawns

The Spawns | Chapter V -- Let's Talk About My Unrequited Love

THE SPAWNS

Chapter V—Cole

Let’s Talk About My Unrequited Love

© DarknessAndLight

There was something deeply degrading when someone my age had to sit in the backseat of the car with my parents driving. Especially since I was too tall to fit in the back of the fugging Audi TT who frankly was not build to have people sitting there and I was going to give myself serious neck cramps later with the angle I had to keep it in.

            But at least my parents weren’t having sex and we were driving to the Eaton’s house.

            Finally! Let’s all chant together Halleluiah! Yes, you too creepy hobo even if I don’t understand what you’re doing in my brain, you too, filthy hooker that keeps crying and begging for change so you can call your pimp…

            “Are you humming Halleluiah, Cole,” Dad asked in front, trying to contain his laughter.

            My eyes stayed on the landscape outside. “Yep. Though the hobo isn’t on cue and I have a hard time hearing the choral of lifeguards because the stinking hooker keeps weeping.”

            Mum made a tsking sound. “Maybe I shouldn’t have taken crack during my pregnancy…”

            I rolled my eyes... If only… Maybe if I was a crack baby I wouldn’t realize I was messed up. “It has nothing to do with drugs Mum. I ruled it out on all the poking on my head I got that damaged crucial brain cells during my development.” I crossed my arms over my chest overly proud of that one.

In your face! Or well technically it had been on my forehead… gross.

            “Our sex life aside, why are you singing Halleluiah,” Dad pressed again.

            I snorted. “Because you ruined Toccata and Fugue in D Minor for me.”

After that remarked I pretty much lost my parents, and by losing them I mean they were laughing and giving each other googly sickening stares. My parents act like fugging hormonal teenagers.

            Luckily the drive from our building to the Eaton’s house was very short, and soon enough we were parking in their driveway. Maika’s fathers’ car was already parked there.

            Aunty Lexi was the one to open the door when we arrived and she smiled broadly when she saw me, automatically giving me a warm hug.

            “I’m so happy to see you,” she kept grinning.

            “Me too,” I smiled too. Now that was the kind of welcoming I should have had when I had gotten home. “Can I switch parents?”

            Aunty Lexi roared with laugher. “I don’t think it works that way,” she answered, shaking her head at my parents. She probably knew why I wanted that.

            Mum pinched my cheek very tightly “Be a good boy Cole. At least your parents love each other.”

            “A little too much though,” I groaned and slapped her hand off.  

            And as always, my parents just laughed it off. Were your parents that way too, creepy hobo? Creepy hoooobooo? I’m talking to you! Stupid hobo. And hooker, if you don’t want me to mentally bitch-slap you, stop crying already!