Paradise City.

Chapter 14: Rosary Blue. Part 2.

Chapter 14: Rosary Blue. Part 2.

¬Peasnie¬

A couple weeks have gone by since I finally put all the rumors to rest, I went to the doctor’s yesterday and they said all the symptoms were because people kept telling me I was pregnant so my mind made all the symptoms happen. That was the day I realized how powerful my mind is. Phil and I have talked about this, he said at least now we can save up a little bit. I agreed with him. Life is just too complicated right now. But somehow we got into argument over it; he wanted to try for a baby before we get married or within the year. He knows that I can’t do that. I can’t throw away everything to do that, not now at least. Maybe when I’m a bit older and things are less hectic. To say the least I slept on the couch. And then Phil and I got into it the next day about how he’s not spontaneous, he has to have everything planned down to the last detail which is nice but sometimes when we’re in the moment he forces it, he forces himself to orgasm; it doesn’t feel natural or right for that matter. Phil likes having things lined up perfectly; if they don’t go his way then he forces it. At first it was really cute because he wanted me to feel that importance but now it’s getting old. I want him to yell and scream at me before kissing me hard and nothing will be force because that energy is there and nothing is faked or pushed. Yeah so he and I are arguing about that.

Yesterday after my doctor’s appointment I had to pick up Kat from Heathrow airport and take her to her London house which is fucking beautiful by the way. I had to spend the night with her, she wanted to go over the graphic designs of the clothing I’m making for Three Skull Circus; it’s mainly for pop-punk, rock and metal but there’s a few hipster prints in there. She gave me the numbers for cosmetics specialists and web designers. They say as soon as I have a steady line of product coming out then they’ll be happy to get the design done. Kat and I also talked about how she can expand her clothing line which has brought me to the thought, maternity clothing. All maternity clothes are very dull or really hipster, so why not make some for this scene. She thought that was brilliant because there are tons of rock’n-‘bout-to-be-mamas out there. She said I should note that down for my clothing line as well. I know Bailey’s clothing line makes maternity clothing because while she was pregnant with Alfie and the twins she didn’t really have much to wear that suited her style.

Kat has me booked in today to do some photos in lingerie. I’ve never actually worn lingerie before so this’ll be a test for me. I’ve seen it, just never have I worn it. I’m a little scared because of my family and the image I set for those little girls; they might think dressing like this is the only way to look good. But I’m also sending the message that young women can be sexy and strongly independent. I’m showing off that I’m not the typical skinny-mini California beach bodied girl. I have a somewhat flabby belly from not being the most active person, I have stretch marks on my thighs and tummy, I jiggle when I walk but do I care? Hell no, I’m a strong independent young woman with a realistic body and I’m proud of my jiggling bits and stretch marks. I am fucking happy with it because it means that if I lose weight then my figure will be bangin hot, even though it’s bangin hot right now.

I sat in the makeup chair with the white fluffy robe wrapped around me; my body was barely covered by the clothing I wore underneath. I watched as they used Kat’s makeup to cover my face lightly. I’ve never been one to wear ruby red lipstick but I looked really good with it. I like how they used the eye shadow, a different colour on either eye. I had purple on one eye and blue on the other. I looked rather sexy with the fact they had coloured my hair so now it was a deep blue colour instead of blonde. I’ve wanted to dye my hair for a while now so it was nice. It was being flat ironed so it was being rid of all the kinks, curls and waves that come naturally to my once long blonde hair.

I had to get up and remove the robe so they could cover up the tattoo I had on my hip, it sucks that the first tattoo I got is being covered. But I supposed having my parents’ names there didn’t help. They covered up the tattoos completely, there wasn’t a sight of ink on my body as I stood there in the dressing room in sexy white lace panties and a push up bra that was just as lacy but had good coverage. I wore a pair of skater girl thigh high socks. It was supposed to sexy but innocent. It’s going to be really nice.