Dean and Jodie

Fifty(Closure)

The last thing he told me was that I can learn to love again.

But I can't nor will I ever...

I've left my heart by his side, buried underneath the ground...

I know I have to be strong.

For little Dean...

But my strength was diminishing every day that little Dean grew as I anticipated him asking of where his father was...

My father told me that Dean was one of God's servants and that he's more worthy of him than I am when I was feeling very selfish of Dean that I was starting to blame god for taking what was meant to be mine.

Of all the times I've prayed god keep him for me and by my side, he took him...

The hardest goodbye hug is the one you never thought would be the last...

Every time I woke up from a nightmare finding no one by my side to hug me and calm my fright, I hurled towards little Dean's room and invaded his bed, placed my head on his little chest and cried myself to sleep. His chest suffered rising under the weight of my heavy head on top, but he continued shushing me and soothing my hairs telling me it's going to be okay mommy. It broke my heart a little too much. My poor little boy, the fruit of my insides was oblivious to the hard life ahead of him.

He'll never get to experience the pleasures of growing up with two parents. A father and a mother.

A father to look up after him, teach him how to be a strong ambitious young man, and share most of his creational life events with him. A mother that is nothing but the sweetheart, the one who doesn't have much strength remaining in her to be able to pass it on to him with just the right amount that will help him overcome life's hardships.

I remember the day I told Dean that I do not know how to lead a life before we got married. And I remember the night of our wedding when I told him I was scared.

He told me not to be, for he is here, finally, today, tomorrow, and till forever...

Little did I know of forever, it lasted eight years...