Enigma || jerrie ✔︎

part 27 - pretend

 So basically, Perrie confirmed Jaded on her snapchat. Such irony. It's okey, we'll be happy as long as Jade's happy, yea, but why seriously I don't think they look good together </3 That was the sound of my Jerrie heart shattering. 

"Hello, it's so nice to meet you!" Jade smiled fakely into the mirror as she tried to act like she was even remotely happy. Unfortunately, she knew that anyone could see through the smile that was on her face right now, and that she had to work on her acting skills even though she went to an acting school back when she was younger.

"Hi, it's so nice to meet you," Jade repeated blankly as she stared into the mirror again into her own dark eyes. Still, the unnatural expression did not disappear from her features.

The grey-haired girl screamed in frustration and looked around for something to smash the mirror into pieces. But, Danielle came sprinting inside her bedroom, making Jade put her head in her hands in irritation. Danielle just had to interrupt her at the worst times.

"Jade, you need help," Danielle repeated uncertainly. It was only yesterday since Jade had her panic attack, and already Danielle was torn. She could secretly contact Jade's management and get them to help Jade, but then Jade would probably hate her forever and Danielle couldn't risk that. The taller brunette wrung her hands together nervously. "You're screaming, throwing stuff, and what was that you went through last night....a panic attack?"

"D-Don't call it that," Jade huffed and glared at herself hatefully in the mirror. She hated herself for being unable to act like she wasn't a freak. Jade knew she was a freak by now, she wasn't a lunatic, she wasn't a madwoman, but she was just a freak. "I was just shocked, that's all."

"It isn't healthy for you," Danielle insisted, and her eyes drifted longingly to the phone.

Jade raised her eyes to Danielle's as she noticed where the other girl was looking at. "You promised," Jade whispered hollowly.

"I won't-I won't tell anyone," Danielle promised and swallowed, hard. "But I can help you, if you'd let me."

"I'm fine, I'm normal," Jade insisted and turned away, fiddling with her fingers. Her skin was itching really badly, begging for a blade to open it, but Jade resisted. Even though it was supposedly "self-help," she knew that doing this wasn't normal, and that she had to hide it no matter what.

"You don't have to be normal, Jade," Danielle whispered, stepping forward carefully. "Just be yourself."

"Well that isn't fucking possible so just fuck off," Jade screamed at her and punched the mirror. Unfortunately, the glass didn't break, but her hand hurt like a bitch and Jade couldn't help but let out a pained yell as she clutched her bruised hand. Then she turned to Danielle who was scared shitless. "It's all your fucking fault for calling her! You shouldn't have-"

"I'm calling Perrie now," Danielle said firmly and ran from the room.

No! Jade felt faint as she tried to follow Danielle out into the hallway, only to have her knees give out. She collapsed on the cold floor, shivering and hugging herself. What if....What if Danielle tells Perrie....

What if Danielle tells Perrie about the problems Jade's been having. Perrie would be disgusted, and Jade would definitely kill herself if it came to that. So the grey-haired girl picked herself up from the floor and chased after Danielle. She could already hear the dial tone playing ominously, and Jade burst into Danielle's room, falling at the brunette's feet while pleading hysterically. "Please, Danielle, please, don't tell her, don't tell her."

Those were the only words Jade could formulate. Her mind was now blank as she kept repeating the same phrases over and over desperately.

Danielle stared down at the girl begging at her feet, tears prickling her own eyes. She couldn't believe the transformation that had taken over Jade during Christmas vacation. She couldn't believe any of this that was happening right now.