Enigma || jerrie ✔︎

part 16 - tears

This chapter might be a bit triggering. Please be careful. To make things clear, the parts in italics are flashbacks and dreams.

"Perrie...come out please. Please don't do anything stupid in there," Jade is on her knees in front of the bathroom door, listening to Perrie sob on the other side. "You can tell me whatever's on your mind and I won't tell anybody else, I swear. Just don't keep everything to yourself!"

There is no reply from inside. Jade suddenly gets a terrifying thought. What if Perrie's trying to self harm? What if Perrie has depression already? What if? What if? "Perrie Edwards, I'm actually going to bust this door down if you don't open it right this second!" Her voice trembles and hangs in the air for a few seconds before dying down.

Screw this, Jade thinks and kicks at the door violently with her socked foot.

The door is way more solid than she has expected, and she crumples to the ground, grabbing her foot and shouting out various profanities. There is silence for a long moment after Jade spits out her curses. Then Perrie's scared voice comes from the other side."Jadey? Are you okay?"

Jade holds her breath and stays silent. Maybe, something good will come out of bruising her foot after all....The door cracks open. And Jade dives in, squeezing herself in the tiny gap before Perrie can shut it again, before Perrie can shut her out again.

Jade's heart almost leaps out of her throat when she sees the shiny blade lying next to Perrie's leg.

She snatches up Perrie's wrists, gripping them harshly while turning them over for signs of cuts. Her heart's thudding in her chest, and she feels like throwing up. She makes sure that Perrie hasn't actually cut herself. Jade won't be able to forgive herself if Perrie did.

Jade explodes. "What the hell were you thinking! Perrie, this isn't healthy."

Perrie immediately starts sobbing even harder. "I know....I just couldn't find the strength to cut....the sight of blood makes me so squeamish..."

Jade wants to slap some sense into her bandmate. "Damn it, Perrie!" Jade grabs the blade and tosses it into the toilet before flushing it. The toilet makes a weird gurgling sound, but Jade can't care less. "Stop shutting me out! Talk to me! The fuck is going on with you!"

Perrie looks at a loss for a moment before biting down on her lip, hard. Jade watches her bandmate close her eyes and tilt her head up at the ceiling, her anger and shock slowly bubbling down, but still Jade's extremely angry at how Perrie kept shutting them out. Jade can't think straight. Just the thought of losing Perrie makes her..well, it makes her want to die.

It hasn't even been a year since the blonde has walked into her life, and Jade cannot believe how much she depends on Perrie already.

"Here. It's too hard to explain." Perrie drops her phone into Jade's lap and huddles against the corner of the bathroom. Jade shifts closer to her bandmate and wraps an arm around her waist comfortingly before scrolling down and reading the tweets on the screen.

she's just using our zaynie.

no way she's good enough for zayn malik

she's the worst singer in LM imo. didn't deserve the hype in x-factor

wow. like did you even see her without makeup.

The messages went on and on and on. There were some good comments. There were comments praising Perrie that outnumbered the bad ones. But all Perrie could focus on were the haters'.