Enigma || jerrie ✔︎

part 05 - clueless

Perrie had consumed Jade's thoughts the past few weeks, causing Jade to mostly keep to herself. She still tagged along with Perrie on their night outs, but anyone could see that she was visibly distracted.

She didn't want to accept the fact that she was in love with Perrie. It was like Jade was sinking in quicksand, faster than she could think. Jade found herself thinking about Perrie's question that day, about things being so much more simple, and found herself wishing that they could just go back to the X-factor days.

Jade was conflicted. She didn't even know what she wanted anymore, and it wasn't as if she suddenly just fell for Perrie. Deep down inside, she knew that her emotions had been building up for a long time and that she just didn't realise it. Then when she suddenly realised her feelings, it was just like a sudden explosion that left Jade shocked and stunned. The problem was, she was afraid that someone would judge her. Jade and Perrie were just like sisters, and there was no way in hell that Jade would risk anything that would ruin that bond.

Jade felt weird every time she looked at Perrie. She told herself that the feelings were just because she cared for Perrie, but she couldn't lie to herself.

Everything just added up. Why Jade always caught herself staring at Perrie, why she always got that funny feeling in her stomach when Perrie hugged her, why anyone could see the complete adoration that Jade had for Perrie. Jade never took the "Jerrie" thing seriously before, but apparently, the fans were more perceptive than she had thought.

And Perrie...well, she was the most clueless of all. She did know about the fanfiction written about them, and Perrie treated it like a big fucking joke. Normally, Jade would've laughed with her, but upon realising her feelings for the blonde, Jade was hardly able to plaster a smile onto her face. The girls of Little Mix were all very affectionate with each other; at least Jade had the opportunity to hug Perrie without anyone doubting that they were more than friends.

Most of all, Jade felt confused about herself. Her sexuality, her identity, everything. She was supposed to be ramrod straight. She wasn't supposed to find herself attracted to Perrie. She was supposed to be partying all night, looking for lads to take her home.

Everything seemed to be blurred these days. The lines between friendship and romance, simply everything that was familiar to Jade. She had busied herself with her little Arabic book she always stored in her handbag, earning admiring glances from her bandmates, who thought it was great that Jade embraced her heritage.

"Jade, it's almost twelve and I'm crapping myself," Perrie whisper-shouted, interrupting Jade's thoughts. The girls were sitting in the living room of Perrie and Jade's flat, ready for the release of the Love Me Like You music video. Perrie was sprawled out on the cushions in the corner with Jade's head in her lap, while Jesy was on her phone doing who-knows-what. Leigh was flicking through the channels on the television, trying in vain to search for something interesting.

"Do you think they'll like it?" Jade asked nervously, referring to the fans.

"Like it? They'll love it," Perrie exclaimed, "am I right, Jes?"

"I do know one thing they'll love," Jesy said, quite slyly while sharing a glance with Leigh-Anne, who just smirked.

"What?"

"They'll love Jector!" Jesy and Leigh-Anne chanted together, making a frown cross Perrie's face while Jade buried her face in her hands. Jade did know that Hector, the lad that acted with them on the LMLY music video, fancied her, but he just wasn't her type. And plus, he isn't Perrie.

"Stop it," Jade mumbled, blushing with embarrassment.

"Aw Jadey, you should probably go out with him," Perrie grinned. Jade gave her bandmate a look, thinking about how clueless Perrie was.