Enigma || jerrie ✔︎

part 43 - bittersweet

Why am I not surprised? Dimly, Jade saw Perrie smiling at her, a short bittersweet smile that spoke volumes. She voiced her thoughts out loud. "Why am I not surprised?"

Perrie shrugged, a one shoulder shrug she always did. "Maybe I made it quite obvious, but you never noticed. Or maybe you just didn't want to."

Jade swallowed the lump growing in her throat as Perrie's fingers traced across the structure of her cheekbones, the cheekbones that Jade had come to hate. As Perrie's nails scraped lightly against the tan skin on the side of her face, brushing away the stray hairs that had come loose out of her messy bun. The hair that Jade wished she didn't have.

....

JULY 2013.

"I think it's pretty obvious that Jesy's piss drunk already and that we've already established the strongest person in here. So as a conclusion I think we can all head to sleep," Jade says, trying to put on a straight face but obviously failing as Leigh-Anne tackles her onto the bed, screaming out in laughter. Perrie follows immediately, laughing as well while helping Leigh-Anne pin Jade onto the bed more securely in order to tickle her.

"I think Perrie and I are stronger together, don'tcha think," Leigh-Anne says smugly, having proven Jade wrong as she turns back. But she has underestimated Jade, because the brunette yanks Leigh-Anne back down on the bed by pulling on her tank top forcefully. Leigh-Anne emits a squeal and flops down in surrender, kneeing Perrie in the ribs in the process.

Perrie lets out a grunt of protest and immediately leaps over both of them, pumping her arms in victory. "I win! I win! I'm the last one standing!"

Their childish game doesn't go unnoticed by Jesy, who is in fact not piss drunk and is pretending to be snoring away on the other side of the room. A smile creeps onto the older girl's face as she opens an eyes to see her three younger bandmates bouncing around on the other bed.

"I win! I win," Perrie's still chanting as she hops around on one foot around the other two girls who lie there trying to catch their breath. "All I do is win win win no matter what, got money on my mind I can never get enough, and every time I step- AHHH!" Something cold grasps onto her leg and she falls down on the soft bed, winded. "I hate y-"

She turns around and almost chokes on her spit as she realises she's just a few centimeters away from Jade's face. "Boo," Jade whispers, her minty breath Her eyes twinkle with mirth, but all Perrie can think about is how much she's blushing right now. She averts her eyes and rolls away, wrapping her arms around Leigh's waist instead. "You guys are sore losers."

"But you lost, too, so technically you're a sore loser, you hypocrite." Leigh chuckles. Behind Perrie, Jade whines and wraps her thin arms around Perrie's waist as well, dragging her backwards, turning her around so they faced each other with Perrie's eyes darting back and forth, trying to avoid Jade's brown ones.

"Why are you leaving me for Lee-Lee? It's not fair."

"Aw, sore loser much Jade," Leigh-Anne laughs again but she's genuinely happy at how her two younger bandmates get along so well.

Jade giggles when she sees Perrie's bright red cheeks, she think it's so cute really, the reaction she always gets out of the other girl. The stutter, the blushing, the frantic darting of her eyes, all of it. If she didn't know better she'd say that Perrie had a crush on her, but she never stops to consider it. Maybe if she did....

"Look Leigh, Perrie's blushing like mad," Jade comments, smiling in that goofy way she always does. "Tell me, dear Perrie, why does your face light up in that oh-so-glorious, tomato-red colour-"

"Shut up!" Perrie stammers out, biting down on her lip whilst pushing Jade away, "I don't like being so close to anyone, that's all." It's a lie. She loves getting close to people, she loves being affectionate but just not with Jade. She just can't.

Jade reaches out and tugs gently on Perrie's bottom lip with her index finger and thumb, releasing it from her teeth. "Stop biting your lip, it's doing things to me." She waggles her eyebrows jokingly.

"Aw Jade, don't tease Perrie like that," Leigh-Anne says, jumping to Perrie's rescue (to her intense relief), leans over, and smacks Jade lightly on the arm. Jade pouts once again.

"I was just having fun. Weren't we, Perrie?"

"Yeah, no," Perrie says, making a face at Jade who just pouts at her again. Perrie sighs out. No one can resist that face.

....

"....All I'm asking you is to please understand this from my perspective. Be happy for me. Please."

Jade swallowed the tears and self hate that was building up through her and nodded with all her willpower. She didn't know if she had the strength to say anything anymore. She didn't know if she had the will to live anymore. She would never be The One for Perrie. It was time to accept that and move on with her life.

But, did she want to move on? What was the purpose anymore? What was the purpose of pretending to put on a smile in public but crying your eyes out once you were truly alone, with no one knowing about your deepest fears or how those demons were whispering in your head? Or waking up by yourself, with the space beside you cold, just to receive an "I love you" from a boyfriend that you didn't have feelings for? What was the point?

"I should let you think over this on your own," Perrie said in a low tone.

The second something that changed everything came next. Perrie hesitated for a long moment, looked down at Jade who was staring at the floor, biting hard on her lip to staunch the flow of tears. Then she reached up. Tugged on Jade's lip softly, releasing it from the trap of her front teeth, just like what Jade did to her years ago. Placed a finger under Jade's chin, lifted her face up so they were staring into each other's eyes.

"Be happy. Please," she repeated.

Perrie leaned down, and time stopped as she pressed her lips to Jade's. It wasn't fiery, it wasn't passionate, it wasn't aggressive. Short and sweet with a tinge of sadness - just like the smile Perrie gave Jade right after she pulled away. Jade couldn't register anything, only the softness of Perrie's lips and how they tasted like strawberry lip gloss.

Then she was gone.  

THE TOUR WAS FUCKING LIT THAT'S WHAT I SAY IM SO SO SO PROUD OF THE GIRLS