Enigma || jerrie ✔︎

part 21 - hollow

 KEEP VOTING FOR THE GIRLS #BRITBLACKMAGIC ON TWITTER 

Sleep had taken over Jade on the plane back to Newcastle. Her head lolled against the seat as she unconsciously reached up to shove her earbud in her ear again. She was listening to some electronic music that she didn't really like, so she switched it to something along the lines of Adele and Mariah Carey.

As the plane touched down at the airport, she slipped on a pair of sunglasses and got off the plane, letting her brown hair fall in front of her face as a curtain. She managed to get through security without the paps catching wind of her, and quickly enveloped her mam in a hug.

"How was France?"

"Just great, mam, just great," Jade mumbled as she tugged at her hair. It had been so awkward with Jed as they both tried to maneuver around the topic that they both had almost slept together.

"Okay darling, let's head home, you've got a game to watch tomorrow, no?"

"Right," Jade said as she headed to the car and got in, a frown still on her face. She eyed herself in the rearview mirror. Maybe I'm just too boring for Perrie, that's why she never notices me.

But Perrie always noticed her, Jade just didn't know that. She didn't know that Perrie had always admired her without really thinking about it.

Jade started to think her eyes were just that shade of boring brown. She started to think that the freckle on her cheek was a curse. She started to think that her cheekbones were too wide or that her ears stuck out like a monkey's or that her boobs were way too small. She thought her hair was boring too. It was all brown. Maybe I could change something...

Her hair! Yes, Jade would get it dyed as soon as possible. Probably some dark or gloomy color so Perrie would notice that she was sad.

"What's on your mind, darling, you look down," Norma Badwi said softly as her hand found her daughter's.

"I'm completely fine mam. The trip just wore me out, that's all," Jade replied. Small white lies couldn't hurt, right? She didn't want to be another burden to her mam. She didn't want to become a burden for anyone.

Her mam let the topic drop, and the ride stayed silent until they arrived home. Jade then collapsed on her bed and stared up at the ceiling like always. She felt like she wanted to sleep, but she just couldn't. Her eyes were so heavy but she just couldn't fall asleep. She screamed frustratedly into her pillow and grabbed a bottle of perfume, throwing it against the wall. The whole thing burst apart and Jade froze, realising what she had done. She sat on her bed and waited for her mam to pound up the stairs, but no one came.

No one cared.

....

"You look gorgeous." Jade smiled in the mirror at the colour director of the salon she was currently at. But it was a fake smile, empty and hollow.

"Thank you," she rasped and inspected her face carefully. She'd gotten her eyebrows slightly tinted as well to match her hair. Jade got out her credit card and started to hand it to the director, but the woman shook her head rapidly, that obnoxiously huge smile still on her face. "No no no, it's free, we're honoured to have somebody like you at our salon."

Jade insisted to pay, but the lady kept repeating that it was free of charge, so Jade merely shrugged, thanked the colour director, and exited the salon. The windy weather made her now-grey hair blow into her face uncomfortably. Jade spat out her hair and pushed it behind her ears.

She glanced at the date on her phone. Perrie would probably be back in London by now. Stop fucking thinking about her. You don't deserve her. She doesn't deserve you, she deserves someone like....like....Zayn?