A Reylo Romance: "Don't be Afraid, I Feel it Too"

Ahch-To, Part 3

"As a result of the schism between the Jedi and the Sith, the Force came to be seen as divided between their two philosophies: the Jedi's selfless commitment to serving and defending came to be regarded as the light side of the Force while the Sith's use of emotion and violence became known as the dark side of the Force"
-http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/The_Force

"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will."
- Yoda

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"Wake up!" Someone is shaking me by the shoulders. "Rey, wake up!"

My chest heaves with the panic from my nightmare as I try to catch my breath. I throw my arms around Finn and hold onto him for dear life.

"I don't want to turn to the Dark Side. That's not me. It won't be me!" I cry. My body trembles. Finn raises his hands to my ribs then lowers them again. I let go of him, pulling myself together. He was a Stormtrooper and I'm quite sure they aren't allowed attachments once they've joined the Stormtrooper programme, so I imagine he's not used to affection.

"I'm sorry," I say, wiping at my eyes.

"It was just a bad dream," Finn reassures me. "I get them too."

I look down at my hands. They're shaking. "I killed Stormtroopers," I say. I look up at Finn to see his reaction but he only seems concerned for me. "On Kylo's ship, when you guys came to rescue me. I deflected their shots right back at them so they'd stop. I could have deflected the shots into the wall-"

"But then they would have kept shooting at you," Finn says.

"What if I already have the Dark Side in me? I killed people-"

"So did I. But we're stopping them from destroying entire planets and civilizations, from taking away all the peace in the Galaxy, giving mothers and children the right to live safe lives, without fear of their planet being blown up for no reason at all. The First Order is building another Death Star."

"But you're not Force sensitive. If I kill, if I choose the Dark Side, I'll become like Snoke."

Finn is shaking his head but my heart races again in panic. I can't escape the vision of me as a Sith Lord in my dream, filled with hate and rage.

"It doesn't work that way." Leia's voice echoes in the hollowed room. Finn and I turn to see her approaching. We slide apart from each other on the bench. She's dressed in her General's uniform now, hair pinned back, a serious expression on her face.

She looks down at me. "The Dark Side isn't something you simply fall into," she says. "It's not something you catch like a virus. It's a conscious choice. You have to choose it, freely and of your own will."

"But Kylo doesn't," I say.

BB-8 rolls up to my feet and bumps my leg gently. I rest my hand on her head.

"Maybe not anymore," Leia says. "But he did choose in the beginning. He chose to become a Sith Lord, the leader of the Knights of Ren. And he chose to kill them all so he could harness their power for Snoke and himself."

"So now he's trapped forever?" I ask.

Finn stays quiet, listening. I must sound crazy to him, being concerned about Kylo, and afraid that I'm turning to the Dark Side unwillingly.

"Rey..." The General gives me a tired smile. "You'll never be like Ben. I know the Force is a powerful and scary thing-"

"Never say never," I say under my breath.

"You need practice controlling your emotions," Leia continues. "So they don't control you, and make your decisions for you. That's the danger of the Dark Side, and the dangerous lure of powerful weapons like the Death Star and Kylo's light saber, they can tempt you. But ultimately it is always your choice, a series of choices, up until a point where you're in too far."

"Unredeemable," I say.

Leia frowns but doesn't answer. Finn rubs the back of his neck, looking down at the ground.

"Enough of the heavy talk," Leia says, attempting a more heartfelt smile. "Breakfast will be an informal gathering this morning, but this afternoon I'll be giving a quick announcement in the open air amphitheater before our afternoon meal. I think we've had enough battles for the time being." She looks from me to Finn then back again. "You two take a break. The Galaxy wasn't built in one day, and neither will it be saved in one day."

Finn and I both nod and then Leia leaves.

I only now begin to notice that the hall is bustling with people, Resistance Fighters dressed in their plain civilian clothes and carrying bowls of food as they chatter.

"Are Resistance Fighters always so cheerful?" I say to Finn.

He laughs out loud and it startles me. Has it really been so long since I've heard a true, heartfelt laugh?

"They're just happy to have won a victory," Finn says. "A small victory in a big battle, but still a victory."

Does he mean rescuing me? Or hurting Kylo?

"I'm sorry," Finn continues. "This must seem disrespectful to you, everyone celebrating when you've just recently been kidnapped and held hostage by an evil Sith Lord."

"No-"

"Would it help to know that he's probably dead?"

"What?" I gasp.

"We don't know for sure," Finn shrugs, his leather jacket moving with his shoulders. "But two of our fighters hit the warp core reactor on Hux's battle ship and blew the whole thing up."

My eyes go wide and I wrap my arms around myself. There were so many Stormtroopers on that ship, so many lives...

"There are reports," Finn continues, "of escape pods but we know Hux wasn't on any of them. Kylo may have escaped, using the Force to get away before the blast, but Luke wasn't with them. We think he might be with Snoke."

A chill runs down my spine and I feel exposed in my sleep gown. "Finn, I have to go get dressed."

"Of course." Finn gets up quickly, offering me his hand. Such a strange gesture, considering there are no reasons I can see for me to need any help standing up from a bench. I almost don't take his hand but then the look on his face, his kind expression full of expectation, make me relent and take it. His enthusiasm is contagious.

"Let me walk you to your room," he says and I nod.