Enigma || jerrie ✔︎

part 22 - cuts

EVEN IF YOU HAVE ONLY BEEN CLEAN FOR JUST A DAY, I'M PROUD OF YOU. KEEP GOING. NEVER GIVE UP. YOU CAN DO THIS; YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

FIRST AND FINAL TRIGGER WARNING

"Jadey," Perrie squealed, running to her older bandmate, reaching out a hand to run it through Jade's now-grey curls. Jade jerked away instinctively, eyes wide. She hadn't been a touchy-feely person lately, and to be honest she rarely felt anything anymore. She faked her smiles everywhere.

"Oh," Perrie mumbled silently while staring at Jade with barely-masked hurt in her blue eyes. She let her hand drop to her side. "Are you okay? You don't seem happy."

"I'm fine," Jade said shortly and tried to smile but it came out as half a grimace. Her fists had tightened involuntarily but they relaxed upon seeing Perrie offer her an uncertain smile.

"How was your trip?" The smile was back on Perrie's face again, full force, million-watt. It was almost blinding.

"Why are you so happy?" Jade blurted out. It wasn't like Jade was unhappy about Perrie being all bubbly and bright; truth be told, Jade was elated that Perrie had finally stopped being so sad, but she was confused as to how and when this change had happened, because Perrie was still so down and confused the last time they'd seen each other, which was over a month ago.

A month could do a lot of things to a person.

Perrie's smile slowly became tinier. "Are you....not happy to see me like this?" Her blue eyes were filled with concern as she bit down on her lip. "Is it not good to be happy?"

Jade shook her head wildly. "No, no, I'm glad, I love that you're like this now, bu-but I just wanted to know why."

Jade thought she saw a flash of something like guilt in Perrie's eyes, but the emotion disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. "The sun can help a lot," the blonde suggested a bit too quickly and looked away, her blue eyes searching for Leigh and Jesy.

Perrie was the last one to arrive at Jesy's house so the other three girls had been busy watching a film when Perrie rang the doorbell, and naturally Jesy sent Jade to get the door so here they were. Staring at each other awkwardly. Trying to avoid each other's gazes. It felt so foreign to them.

"Where are Lee and Jes?" Perrie asked, her eyes darting up down the hall to where the intro of Game of Thrones was playing. "Are you watching Game of Thrones?"

Jade smiled. "Finally. You remembered."

Perrie pouted and closed the door behind her. "I've always remembered Jadey, I've always remembered everything about you."

"You're lying," Jade said automatically and wished she could kick herself. She just didn't want to attract any attention; that was the whole point of dyeing her hair and staying under the radar. She just didn't feel like she was needed anymore.

Perrie's chin tilted up challengingly at Jade's remark, and her lips curled up into a smile. "Try me."

Jade gestured to the hallway desperately. "No no no it's fine I take it back, let's just - let's just go back and watch Jon Snow one more time."

"I don't want to see him die again," Perrie complained and grabbed Jade's wrist. Jade winced and pulled her arm away, and Perrie's eyes drifted down to where a slight bulge had appeared under Jade's jumper. Curiously, Perrie stepped closer to Jade, who backed away quickly. "Why are you wearing long sleeves? It's hot as hell in here."

"I-I-I," Jade stammered and froze as her back hit the wall. Perrie advanced on her, her eyes round and blue and curious.

"What are you not telling me?"